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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5401
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi Kate I had a rough time again with my therapist. She

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate:

I had a rough time again with my therapist. She really is very good but I am going through such a stressful and anxious time right now that any change to my schedule with her, I find very upsetting and frankly feel rather immature in my inability to keep it together over such small incidents.

Today she was sick but kept our appt. However, right at the start she told met hat she had to end early with me because she had to go see her doctor. This is fine and it happens. But I would have liked to hae known about it ahead of time. Perhaps we could have rescheduled as she told me at the end that she had 2 p.m. today available (I went in the morning).

Plus in my opinion (not her's), we wasted the time we did have with her telling me that I had to stop taking morphine (I take it for bulging discs plus yet to be diagnosed abdominal pain) as a way to cope. I am taking it in the morning after I drop my daugther off at school. Then I go home take, put on my pajama's and sleep until I have to pick her up. She says I have to stop this and at least try to have some type of schedule even if I start small. For instance, going to a bookstore for 15 minutes a day to get out of the house. She says I am becoming addicted to the morphine (I get it from my GP) and by continuing, I am just making myself more and more tired and unmotivated.

I, myself did not want to talk about this. I want to sleep all day long. I don't want to deal with my life. Sometimes, well actually most days it is just too much to handle. I have too much time to think about what I've been through.

I tried really hard not to cut. My therapist says I have to stop resorting to this. She'll probably be annoyed if I tell her I did this. But I had no other outlet for my feelings. I had things I needed to talk about today but wasn't able to. She did give me an appt. for Monday though.

But all I see right now is a long weekend ahead of me. I don't want to face it. I just want to sleep.

The only I seem to do well is take good care of my daughter. She only sees the pretend me...the happy me.

I took one of my Clonazapam's to calm down but I wish I could take more. Or the morphine b/c it makes me so sleepy.

Do you have any suggestions that may help me? I'm sorry that I seem to need help dealing with myself and my intense feelings. But I don't know what else to do.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

There is nothing wrong with you asking for help in dealing with your feelings. That is exactly what you should do.

 

It sounds like you are feeling neglected by your therapist. The most important thing to look at in this situation is whether or not you feel that you are neglected because you have a deep need you cannot get met by her, or that she is not meeting your basic needs as your therapist. You and I had talked before about whether or not you are looking to her to meet the needs you did not get met as a child. Do you feel that this is the case now in this situation?

 

From what you describe, it sounds like you feel you need your therapist to give you a heads up if she changes her schedule and cuts part or all of your session. Yes, emergencies are understandable. But if you feel you want things like her doctor's appointment to not interfere with your sessions, it is perfectly reasonable for you to talk to her about calling you earlier and rescheduling. Let her know that you prefer to have a full session and that you are more than happy to change your appointment if needed to get it.

 

The morphine issue does need attention. Although you are taking it for a good reason, it has become less about the reason you are taking it for and more about you avoiding life. It may also be interfering in your progress in therapy. So it has become a problem. You may want to think about working on the issue. Doing this all at once is too much. But a slow progression would make it easier. Tell your therapist you are ok talking about the morphine issue for a certain length of time in therapy but that you wish to have the rest of the time to work on other issues that you choose.

 

It's good that you are thinking through the cutting and trying to find better ways to express yourself. If you could not talk to your therapist, then finding another way of expressing yourself is important. Do any of the suggestions we talked about last time work? Journaling, blogging and all the other ways are good until you can talk to your therapist. It is also good to either use these outlets or work on finding other ones that you can use as a way of weaning yourself off therapy eventually. It is never too early to work on alternatives so when you feel ready to end therapy, the other alternatives will be in place.

 

I know it is hard to see, but you are doing very well. You are coping with difficult situations, working on not cutting and you are there for your daughter. Those are all important points in your progress. And you keep trying, which is the most important part of all.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5401
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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