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In all likelihood you realize that your desire to cross dress is not all that uncommon. That's not to say that it is the norm, but there are many men who have this desire.
Of the men who have this desire, many maintain healthy relationships with women and some are married with a family. On the other hand, some identify themselves as homosexual, and some have gender identity disorder. In my experience, the key to living a functional happy life is to understand who you are.
It could be that you do indeed have gender identity disorder - if that is the case, you would certainly benefit from therapy. More to the point, as you have reached out here, it seems that you would benefit from seeing a therapist given that you have mentioned that you have experienced relationship issues with women previously.
I believe the best answer I can give you is that it's not uncommon for men to want to cross dress. However, men do this for several different reasons (some men find excitement in wearing their wives clothes in front of their wives, but have no desire to do it elsewhere for example).
So, my best advice to you is to understand that your motivation for this could be a wide variety of things. The best way for you to understand your motivation is through therapy. After you understand your motivation, you can find a way to live with your desires that is comfortable and functional for you.
I hope I answered your question and you are satisfied with my efforts. If you need more clarification, please respond here.
As i understand your answer, they key for me is my motivation. One therapist I saw briefly several years ago said that she thought i was transgendered. My desires go back to when i was very young perhaps 7 or 8 as best as I can recollect. While there is an element of excitement, I want to see myself as a female person. Maybe a form of escapism but perhaps something deeper. I know it's just clothes but I feel so comfortable that I don't want to change back to male dress. I guess it's a complex issue for me and I've felt inhibited by societal norms for a veery long time because of the derision and effect on my career, family relationships, etc.