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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5517
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi Kate, Thanks for your response. It makes total sense.

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate,

Thanks for your response. It makes total sense. The problem is at the time I don`t always think logicallly. I act very impulsively. I do seem to rely quite heavily on her right now.

I decided to do something different over the weekend. I wrote a letter to my attacker. I don`t intend to send it. I just wanted to get how I was feeling. I took it with me to my appt with my therapist and she couldn`t have been happier. She commended me on being able to write it in the first place but being able to read it out loud to her she said was obviously tough for me but a great step in the process to getting over my ordeals.

The problem is that this has opened up all the hurt and pain I went through with him. Now, I don`t know how to sort out or rebottle them until I see her next. I feel terrible and spent yesterday afternoon (after my appt) and now this morning just lying around or sleeping in order to escape this huge onslaught of tough feelings.

Any suggestions on how I get through this until my next appt. I would prefer not to resort to my usual negative ways of dealing.

Thanks as always.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Good for you! I think what you did was a huge step. It took bravery and strength to read that letter out loud and I don't know if many people could do something like that. I'm happy to hear that your therapist was so supportive.

 

It is natural for you to feel a lot of the pain and hurt you experienced with your attacker come back. You just opened a door and let out some of those deep hurtful feelings. It is very therapeutic to do what you did, but also scary.

 

You can work through this until you see your therapist again. It takes some work on your cognitive processes by changing how you think about this, but it is very possible.

 

One, you are not a victim. You are a survivor. It is very important that you remind yourself of this as much as you need to.

 

Two, you are safe and you have people who care about you

 

Three, you are recovering from what happened every day. You are getting better, which means you have the strength not only to survive, but to thrive.

 

Four, spend some time with people in your life that you feel safe with. Pamper yourself and treat yourself well. Get extra sleep, eat well, and try to laugh.

 

Five, allow yourself to feel. You are going through a difficult time but these feelings are good for you. You are experiencing them in a safe place and with support. It is ok to feel hurt, upset, tearful and anger. Any emotions, as long as they are not self destructive, are good feelings.

 

You are doing so well. You have great motivation to work through this and if you have that, you will get better.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5517
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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