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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate, I am so confused. I told my therapist how I had

Resolved Question:


I am so confused.

I told my therapist how I had left so upset after one of our appointments (the one where she shorted me half the appt and let me leave when I was clearly upset.

She always tells me that in her office, it is safe to say anything I am feeling. So I decided to tell her about how impulsive I acted after leaving her office.

I took how I had taken a mixture of some of my pills but nothing crazy. I wasn`t trying to kill myself, I was trying to numb how awful I felt. I just wanted to sleep.

The cutting I did, I wish I hadn`t done. But I am very impulsive and should have taken some time to calm down. However her reaction to what I told her was not good. She was clearly unhappy with my actions. She wanted my word that I would not behave in this way again. She did give me some suggestions on what I can do if this happens again.

I did challenge her by saying she told me that I could tell her anything but that I didn`t feel I could anymore especialy with her reaction. She said she doesn`t have to like what I tell her but is to be able to tell her anything and her job was to listen to how I was feeling.

But I don`t feel like I can tell her anything anymore. Sometimes I feel disappointed because the things I tell her are so horrid and I expect sympathy and I don`t always feel that from herl. Is this wrong of me.

Thanks as always Kate.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hello, it's good to hear from you!


I think in your situation, you are looking for something from your therapist that is important to you. Think about what you are asking her to do for you. You want sympathy and you want her to care. And there is a certain way you want her to express this to you. When you think about that, consider the void you want her to fill for you. There is something you need that you feel she can provide.


What you are experiencing is common in therapy. Most people in therapy have deep needs that are unmet by those in their lives. In therapy, people have a chance to have someone listen to them and they naturally want the therapist to be there for them. Here is someone who finally cares. And it is easy to want more from them.


This is something that you need to explore with her. She needs to understand how you feel. Focus on what you are needing and other ways you can get this need met in your life. Your therapist is there to help you, and she should care. But she won't always be there. So helping you build supports in your life that you can go to and people you can trust is important.


What do you think?




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