You're welcome! I am glad to help.
It is very hard when you have a partner that does not share in the work in the home, especially when you work outside the home as well. This puts a huge burden on you and can cause your feelings of anger and resentment. This also affects your view of your partner and therefore your marriage.
There are ways you can try to get your husband to help more.
One, don't allow your anger and frustration with him to build up. Talk to him before you get frustrated. Husbands usually do want to help but many of them need specific directions in order to do so. They may also be fearful of messing things up and making it worse. So when you are going to make dinner, tell your husband in a clear but gentle tone that you want him to do a certain task, such as chopping the carrots. Give him specifics such as "I need 1 inch pieces put into this bowl".
Make up a chart with small jobs you need completed. Again, be specific such as "carry the laundry down to the washing machine and leave it there". Give small jobs for each day. Tell him to check the chart each day. Find jobs he enjoys. You never know if he may like doing the grocery shopping. Some people do.
Be thankful to him. It is hard when he should be doing his share but this is going to be a learning experience for him that will take a while. So if you give him some reward by being thankful he may be more motivated.
Keep in mind that many households are traditional and do not think to teach boys how to clean and care for themselves. Women would do that kind of work. He may have grown up in a house where that is what he was taught. So making the point that you work outside the home as well as your reasoning may make him more motivated.
Try these ideas and see if they work. Hopefully, he will catch on.
Your son is acting in a typical teenage way. Most kids, especially boys, like trying on grown up behavior not only to make themselves seem cool, but to see if it is something they like to do. He can also be doing it because he feels rebellious, knows it bothers you or he is angry. But you do not have to tolerate his coarse language if you wish him to stop. He is still a minor and you his parent, so you set the rules. That does not mean he will agree, but the key here is consistency and firmness about enforcing the rules.
Try to figure out where he is learning his coarse language. Do you or his father curse? If so, you may need to stop. As a teenager, he will think because you do it it is ok for him to do it.
If your son thinks it is cool, let him know that cursing makes a person sound dumb. It means they cannot find an intelligent word to use so they curse instead. Also, ask him, what is a person doing when they curse? They are trying to get attention. It means a person does not feel worth attention without having to make themselves curse and look dumb. And that is not cool.
Set rules that there is no cursing at home. Be prepared to take away a favorite device or TV time if the rule is not followed.
Make a "cursing jar" that everyone has to put money in every time they curse. Then donate the money or do something charitable with it. Or make a rule that if there is no cursing for a week, everyone gets to go out to dinner at your son's favorite restaurant.
Give this time. As with every habit, this will take some work.
There are many things you can do to manage your anger. One is the cognitive restructuring we talked about. You can also do these things:
Breath- take a deep breath each time you feel your anger rising.
Find a distraction- keep a pack of gum with you and chew a piece when you feel upset for example.
Do stress relief at home or at a gym- yoga, pilates and other deep relaxation techniques can go a long way in helping you channel some of your anger into making yourself feel better.
Exercise- working out, even for 20 minutes can help you work out your anger and promote endorphines in your system- the "feel good" hormones. You will sleep better and feel more in control
Develop responses- each time you see something that makes you angry, stop and turn around the other way. Shut it out. Give yourself some time to calm down. Then turn back and deal with it.
Use humor- to help you see the funny side. Pretend the person is from another planet and you are trying to communicate with them. If you tend to call people names in your mind, picture the person as the thing you are thinking off. So if you think they are nuts, picture them as a bowlful of nuts. Pick your favorite ones.
Think about your options, try them out and see what works for you.