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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question

Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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Resolved Question:

i already sent a question.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

I can't trace previous questions.

Customer:

hi my daughter has gone off the rails. she is 20. 2 kids to 2 different fathers age 2 and 1. neither father involved. lying and stealing. promiscuous. 2 kids now in our care. she has not seen them for 2 months and doesnt ask for them or pay for them even though she is paid by the welfare system for them. my question is . is she sociopathic or psychopatic or evil. help she is now living with 3 violent teenagers who stitch the police up and have no regard for god nor man

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Actually, I am sure I answered your other question (you are oncology nurse). Please check that response and if it is not there, let me know. The site has been acting oddly today.

Customer:

ok ill check

Customer:

no nothing showing up

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

OK. I just noticed you are in Ireland, so I am not sure of your options.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Daughter clearly has a personality disorder, which by definition really don't change. Such people usually end up in legal system. I don't know your welfare system, but I think you should turn her in for fraud. Not to be mean, but she is still you and often only changes will come through legal consequences. It is still a poor prognosis.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

The kids must be a real dilemna. If any drugs or alcohol during PG, they could end up with a wealth of problems, usually showing up around age 5, if not already.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Anything you do to "help her" will do nothing but support her bad behavior.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

After all that, not sure what question is...

Customer:

. kids . both fathers on drugs when the children were conceived. right so personality disorder. would that constitute a mental illness referral

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Psychopathic, sociopathic and "evil" are equal terms.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Technically, no. Personality disorders are "patterns of maladaptive behavior that interfere with functioning in society that often come to the attention of mental health professionals" They are in mental health basically to flag the people as untreatable. The laws and diagnosis may be different in Ireland, but it would not be considered mental health referral here. It is considered just their behavior/personality. Simply, they are people that don't fit into society or respect their rules because of who they are. Our jails are mostly filled with these people.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Sorry, I had accept disabled. I fixed that.

Customer:

right. do you think im supporting her bad behaviour by the children being in our care

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Without reporting the fraud you are. Otherwise, I think it is more a decision about whether or not you want to end up being their parents or deal with her when or if she decides to manipulate you for custody. She clearly doesn't want them.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

They are also likely "high risk" kids to care for.

Customer:

i did report the fraud but i gather she lied her way out of it. child protection social workers interviewed both her and her previous boyfriend who is father to the 1st child and deemed them fit parents. this is after he had been found growing cannabis and breaking my wrist in may

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Not sure how she got away with it if you are caring for kids, but our social service system is bad too. In US you could go to court and have her declared unfit parents. Otherwise, I would consider giving her the kids back. That would be so sad. And any time she is violent with you or kids, call police. If she is saying she should have the money, she should have the kids. Obviously this is horrible situation and no one will get by not being hurt. They are her kids, and if she has to raise them, I doubt she will have them for long if you have any social welfare service to protect kids.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Then, I would break off ALL contact with her or your life will be a nightmare.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

You should contact legal counsel for advice also.

Customer:

she told me that the social worker said. its ok for her boyfriend at the time to do drugs once he is not doing them around the kids. i couldnt believe what i was hearing. yes i guess so.its heartbreaking to have a daughter turn out like this i have another daughter who is fine causes no problems

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

I suppose she was just lying to you.......and I doubt anyone refrains from anything around kids. It was a stupid statement. The issue is not him doing drugs in front of kids (they have no clue what that is anyway), it is the behavior and lifestyle that goes with it. So I don't believe it either.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

I truly understand the heartbreak, but put your energy and love toward the good daughter.

Customer:

so your advice for me would be to ignore any txts or phonecalls from her and we have sought legal advice already

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Yes.

Customer:

ok thank you very much for your help. god bless. alice

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Stay strong Alice, I know this is hard.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

please press accept or I do not get paid for my time.

Customer:

.

Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience: Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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