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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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My wife and I moved to another state last month, 2 weeks after

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My wife and I moved to another state last month, 2 weeks after we arrived here she had to go back to our old state to get her driver’s license. Three weeks before we moved to our new home she had started hanging out with another guy, now I admit we were having issues in our relationship. The guy however would buy her things such as clothes, gifts, and necklace. He even offered her a good paying job and later offered to buy her a house; he even paid over $4,000 to get her vehicle fix. She came to me with this and I was very upset, she claimed she wanted to stay and go to school and take the job he had offered her and the house. I told her no, that we could do on our own, money has been tight for me, and we than moved to our new home. 2 weeks later she had to go back to get her driver’s permit, the guy went and bought her the plane ticket to go back, she is currently there waiting to get her license. While she was there we were having arguments and later told me she no longer wanted to be with me and wanted to end our relationship. She also said that she wanted to get to know this guy more and see where it leads. She said he is helping her with a job, school, and even buying her a house. I later seek help to control my anger which was the cause to our issues. I told her she was free to do what she wanted, since than we have been talking normal, and told me the day I change to the man I was and show her I have improve that she would take me back. She still tells me she loves me and all, but every time he is around she hangs up on me or starts talking to me. My question is, why is this man offering her all this stuff? Is it normal for a guy to offered to buy someone he just met a house? I mean the guy has money and buys homes and resells them, he is pretty much buying her everything and giving her money everyday.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 5 years ago.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Well if he has the money......I guess it is normal. Normal or not, he is doing it. Of more importance, you must be in great pain and feel like you have no control. It is very sad for you. I suspect your wife will learn"something" the hard way, but meanwhile, anything I can do for you.

Customer:

Let me try to rephase the question, why would a man offer all this things to a woman he just met?

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

To manipulate her. He likely is an asshole and just "buys" what he wants with conscience or concern for others.

Customer:

I see, also like i said me and her have been talking peaceful, lets me know as long as I continue progress and show her I change than we can start rebuilding our marriage, however, like I said before, when he is around she stops talking to me and asks me not to text her.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Yes, he isn't doing this without her involvement. I tend to be honest, so my gut reaction is she is keeping both options open so she can decide if she wants to stay with him (or otherwise move on) or recommitt to you. She certainly is not "innocent" in all of this. I am gald you are still talking and hopefully making progress.

Dr. Ed Wilfong :

Above I meant without conscience

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Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 5 years ago.
That is why I tried to make correction. He likely has little or no concern about the people he is and may hurt. He likely only cares about what he wants without regard for how it affects others. I don't know him, but that is what it sounds like to me.

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