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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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hi i am 42 and recently avoided my parents after a disagreem

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hi i am 42 and recently avoided my parents after a disagreement. I had left my job as a lawyer wanting to do something else. My father has sat me down on 4 occasions telling me what i should do and talking to me like child. On one occasion he shouted at me five times asking repeatedly what was i going to do. I was shocked and have avoided them. My family are blaming me for upsettng them but i feel bullied and justified in not having too much contact at moment. They are 76 though .
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It may be that some of their behavior is old age. Some of it may be just family conflict. You know your family's history. If they are 76 you may have to solve issues by giving into to some of their temperament. That doesn't mean you should be abused. You should be able to talk to them without feeling like a child. You both have your own feelings about your situation and you have to find a new way to communicate which compensates for their age. In their mind they saw you as upsetting them. That is common. Older people often feel that others are upsetting them or getting on their nerves. You may have to practice this avoiding a little but more as they grow older.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
l find it depressing. There is no support from my father just negative criticism.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
I know it's depressing. They are getting older and crankier. But that is reality. Try to remember what he would have said when he was at his best. It is difficult to get support when they are focused on themselves. Remember times when they were there for you and think of them when you feel his negativity. You have become the parent now. There comes a time when you are their parent.
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