How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question

Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
19260254
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Is it normal for my daughter to be confused about her gender

Resolved Question:

Is it normal for my daughter to be confused about her gender? She has never been in the past and we never saw any signs of confusion. She is 12 years old and is just starting puberty in my opinion. She has not started her menstrual cycle and has not developed as most girls her age. Please help, so I can help her.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Yes, it is possible. But, what would help is to assist her in identifying if it is really an issue of gender identification or sexual attraction to the same sex or simply curiosity. Individuals both who are gay and who struggle with gender issues generally know/feel this way from early on in their life (it does not happen over night)

 

You may want to explore with her what may have taken place two weeks ago when this issue became apparent to you i.e did she see something, spoke to someone about it, read about it, has a friend/peer who's actually struggling with this and she wants to identify with that peer, etc.

 

When you speak to her, you're trying to gather information not make the interpretation for her. If possible, try to be as objective as you can. You want to gain her trust not to rebuke her or to evoke shame and guilt within her which, would be the most harmful in this case. Encourage her to identify what this means to her. Is she afraid/anxious, confident/certain that she's found a part of herself that is new to her, etc. Is she able to identify if this is triggering a sexual response or a psychological one ex: male are stronger and more accepted than females in certain areas/jobs, etc.

 

Hormones would not necessarily evoke gender identity confusion. Increased level of testosterone in women would make them feel more assertive or appear aggressive as well as have a heightened libido. These are mostly connected to sexual arousal/intimacy issues. In home hormone test

 

If you believe that she is not 100% comfortable talking to you about it, then you may suggest that she talks to a professional who specializes in working both with gender identity as well as sexuality issues.

 

 

Gender Identity Disorder And Psychosexual Problems In Children And adolescents
Kenneth J. Zucker

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She plays volleyball and told me she liked the way the girls look. She is really upset about it and keeps asking me if these feelings will go away. She doesn't want to like girls she says. It's like she wants me to tell her they will go away and she will like boys eventually. She did like a boy last year and he liked her. She has liked other boys as well.

All this confusion started 2 weeks ago.

I want to get her professional help, she doesn't want to talk to anyone but me. I just want to be able to give her the right answers and not confuse her even more. I have assured her that no matter what she decides, we will support her and LOVE her just the same.

Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

At the moment it would be best to explore these feelings/thoughts with her not suppress them. You may tell her these feelings can go away. Even if she is bothered or telling you she is uncomfortable feeling these feelings, emotions are strong indicators that something is taking place internally that triggers them. You can encourage her to keep a diary and then a dream journal to record what insight she may be getting from these experiences. You can reassure her that as individuals grow up, their ego/mind is trying to make sense of different things both internal and in one's environment. When she brings the topic, let her know that there is nothing to feel ashamed about, that people go through different stages as their personalities/egos develop and the more someone knows about oneself the better. Experiential activities such as art or dance or even her sports may be able to shed light and bring an integration of these feelings/thoughts. Help her make a differentiation b/w thoughts and feelings and how thinking can evoke emotional responses. At this point, you may even encourage her to learn as much as she can about this issue. In Jungian psychology the terms Anima and Animus explain that each individual holds the polarity of male and female within themselves and can use these energies for self expression. An example would be a male who is a cook or a female who is a fire fighter. In Native American indigenous rituals male were even encouraged to learn as much as they can about the sacred feminine. Appreciation of female beauty is not indicative of lesbianism. It may be that she's developing an ability to appreciate what she observes which can help in professions such as beautician, designer, etc.

 

Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi
Mental Health Professional
4627 Satisfied Customers
PsyD, LPC, CHt