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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ABOUT 4 MONTHS NOW AND

Resolved Question:

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER ABOUT 4 MONTHS NOW AND WE ARE INTIMATE WITH EACH OTHER BUT I HAVE ONE MAJOR PROBLEM THAT IS REALLY AFFECTING OUR RELATIONSHIP. fIRST OFF, I AM MALE, 49, GOOD HEALTH, AND SHE IS 33
tHE PROBLEM I'M HAVING IS THE FOLLOWING... WHEN WE ARE MAKING OUT AND MOVE ON TO FOREPLAY AND THEN GO ON TO INTERCOURSE, MY GIRLFRIEND INSISTS ON ME WEARING A CONDOM, BUT EACH TIME I DO , I LOOSE MY ERECTION... WITHOUT THE CONDOM, NEVER A PROBLEM, BUT THE MOMENT I PUT ONE ON, MY PENIS JUST GOES NUMB...
IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING FOR ME, AND EVEN MORE FOR HER, COS NOW SHE THINKS I DONT WANT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HER...
PLEASE HELP... IF U CAN
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Condoms are a big turnoff for lots of men. The physical aspect of intercourse is a tactile experience between a penis and a vagina. Your pleasure centers receive stimuli through the nerve endings in your penis and those stimuli stop when you put the condom on.

If you were getting the tactile pleasure of stroking her hair or her soft cheek, or her breasts, everything would change if you put on a thick rubber glove. You could use your imagination, but it would become a totally different experience.. If you wanted and needed a refreshing shower after a workout, you would be disappointed if you work a scuba diver's wet-suit into the shower.

You have several alternatives, none of which is as good as "the real thing" all the way to climax, but here they are:

  • if it is disease that she is worried about, then you should both go and get tested for STDs and show each other the results
  • If it is pregnancy that she fears, then she can try an intrauterine device, a female condom, or birth control medication.
  • you could try coitus interruptus in which you enter her bareback but withdraw well before ejaculation.
  • if she insists on the condom then you can get a prescription to Viagra or Levitra or CIalis to extend your erection.
  • Try Trojan Bareskin condoms which are 40% thinner.

She must understand that it is the condom and not her that inhibits your erection, and that it is a frequent cause of erectile function. Let her read this forum on line. There is lots of information that supports the fact that condoms are problematic for many men.

http://ehealthforum.com/health/cant-stay-up-with-a-condom-on-t176428.html

I wish you the best in finding a solution and in convincing your girlfriend that this is a problem that you both have to deal with. Find a solution and let love see you through.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
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