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Suzanne
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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I need help saving money. I think I shop because im insecure.

Resolved Question:

I need help saving money. I think I shop because i'm insecure. I tend to buy clothes I don't need. Buy makeup I don't need and do all these things because i think it will make my husband more attracted to me, when in reality all it does is waste money. Funds are tight especially with the baby. I really need to learn how to do this. Any advice?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Self-discipline is a decision one makes...staying out of the stores unless there is a purchase that's been discussed and approved by both of you. You husband will be more attracted to a wife with no makeup who respects that he works hard to earn the money than to one who is all dressed up in clothes they can't afford. Just looking at you in the clothes that have made the budget even tighter will cause him resentment, not attraction. If you really want your husband's attention, you will have a better chance of getting it by acting like his partner in life. By continuing self-destructive behavior like spending money you shouldn't, you show him that you still need guidance ....which puts him in the position of having to act like a parent rather than a husband.

You might want to take a look at the budget advice offered by Dave Ramsey. He teaches people to gain control of their spending by deciding, in advance, how every dollar they have will be spent or saved. Here's a link to his book: http://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Financial-Fitness/dp/159555078X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315051888&sr=8-1 If you will get serious about your life and the financial health of your family, you'll show your husband that you are a true partner, and you'll gain his respect even more.

Remember that he already thinks you are attractive, or he wouldn't have married you. Now is the time to show him what you are made of inside too...

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