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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5470
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Relationship Advice

Resolved Question:

I am in a relationship with someone I really like, it's been about 4 months. I want the relationship to move forward, I told him I love him because I do. He didn't respond and doesn't want to discuss it. I don't want to break it off and I don't want to push him, I just don't know where I stand with him. What should I do, I don't like not knowing how he feels?


 


I have a son, almost 4 and I am recently divorced.  I haven't brought my son into the picture yet, although I would like to, but not if this guy won't commit to a long term relationship.  I am not asking him to marry me or move in with me right now, I just feel like we should be able to talk about what he wants or sees this relationship going. 


 


The guy is 35, never married and no children.  He is awesome in every way. I want to give the relationship a chance, but don't know how much space and for how long to give him?

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

If your partner does not want to discuss your relationship, you are going to have a hard time trying to get information about his feelings out of him.

 

You can try asking him again, if you feel it would help. This time, tell him that it is important to you to know how he feels.

 

Most likely, though, it is probably because he does not feel comfortable sharing his feelings yet. Most men are not. They feel that being with someone is enough and they don't need to say how they feel. Just because he does not say he loves you does not mean he doesn't. He may just not want to say it or not feel it is the right time yet.

 

How do you feel about how he treats you? Is he nice to you, thoughtful and kind? This will tell you a lot about how he feels. Also, if he respects you then you know you are important to him.

 

He may also just want to be sure he is in love before he says it. It may be that he feels once he says it, he is in a committed and important relationship. Some guys do take a long time until they feel comfortable. And 4 months is not a long time. I would give your relationship at least a year, providing that it is going well, before you consider moving on.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5470
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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