You are welcome! I am glad you feel the information will help.
In dealing with your self esteem, it is helpful to realize that you do have a lot of power in the situation. Although your attacker did things to you against your will, how you feel about it and what you do afterwards makes a difference. It is something you have control over. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel the way you do. You are going to react to what happened no matter what. To not react would mean there is something wrong.
What I mean is working on not giving your self esteem to your attacker. Not allowing him more than he took already. The trauma you went through was not something you could control. No one could. But giving your attacker your self esteem and believing what he did to you was about you is. The attack was about him, not you. Anyone who acts out violently has something seriously wrong with them. The victim does not. They just happen to be the focus of the attacker's problems. So working on taking back your self esteem and not believing what your attacker said or did was about you is a good way to heal.
It is a good idea to talk to your therapist about how you feel. The issue here is trust. She violated something important to you which is your trust that she would take care of you. But keep in mind that your needs may not have been apparent to her, or she was preoccupied and could not address them at the time. You are at a very vulnerable time right now. Seeing your therapist as a person who can be there for you is vital to you. But your therapist made a mistake. Or she felt she could not be there for you at the time. Whatever the reason, she was not focused on your needs. Whether or not it is because she doesn't care about you as you expected or that she made a mistake is something you need to work out.
Look at your expectations of her. How do you feel about your relationship with her? What needs do you feel she should meet? Are they realistic? They can be very realistic and she may not be able to meet them. Or your expectations could be very high as well, too difficult for her to meet. If they are, how else could you meet your needs that does not involve your therapist? Or do you feel you need to see a different therapist?
The idea here is to balance your strength and ability to address some of your own emotional needs with your relationship with your therapist.
How do you feel about this?