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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5798
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate My therapist is a nice person but I really felt disappointed

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My therapist is a nice person but I really felt disappointed that she showed very little empathy toward what I was sharing with her. It could be she was and I didn`t recognize it but I feel very upset and angry at her. This may become a problem come Monday when I am supposed to see her.

When she treated me in that manner, it really just made me feel sad. I felt like yet another person had disappointed me. I felt really alone. Very lonely.

I had a good childhool with two wonderful parents that would still do anything for me. I am fortunate in this regard.

When I acted out my feelings which I thought were mostly anger, I just kept thinking how I was let down again. I trusted and I felt invisable. I felt like I didn`t count. I wanted so badly to feel better and I didn`t know how. The feelings of sadness were pretty strong too. I just wanted them to go away. It took me 40 minutes to get home and yet I still decided to take the actions I did.

I dòn`t think I felt too much better after doing what I did. I really felt deserted. I felt like she didn`t care and didn`t care how I felt. That hurt me.`

I just felt so very overwhelmed and had no coping mechanisms in place. I still don`t know what to do. I don`t want to self-harm again or take more stuff. But I feel so horribly sad inside and don`t know what to do.

I don`t know if I answered your questions correctly but I tried.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like you are working from feelings only and not processing what you are thinking about. When you reacted to your therapist actions, you describe your feelings, but not what you thought about the situation.


This is important because whenever something happens to us, we have two processes that occur. One is feeling and the other is thought. For example, say you are fired from your job one day, unexpectedly. You react strongly, feeling hurt, betrayed and angry. You may also be scared. But some of these feelings come from your thoughts. You begin thinking, how will I support myself, who can I rely on to help me until I get back on my feet, what is my current financial situation, etc. So both feeling and logical thought are working at the same time.


What happens for you is your feelings override your thoughts. Logic is there, but you ignore it. The feelings are so strong that you allow them to take over. This is something you can change. By changing it, you can learn to put brakes on your feelings before you hurt yourself because logic and thought will factor in and stop you.


You are also giving a lot of importance to your feelings. Feelings are a healthy part of your life, but if they are focused on and not filtered, you end up reacting to them and ignoring other important factors in your thought process. Feelings are not always accurate either. They are based on past experiences and other factors that do not always give you the clearest picture of the situation.


Next time you feel very strongly about something, try focusing on your thoughts and while muting your feelings. Write your thoughts down. See how this works for you. The goal is to help you begin to use your thoughts to help you see a situation clearer from different angles.


Let me know how this works for you.



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