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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5797
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate I have made some terrible mistakes today and I feel

Resolved Question:

Kate:

I have made some terrible mistakes today and I feel so badly and desperate right now that I don`t know what to do.

I had an appt. with my therapist this morning. Because I already saw her earlier this week, today`s appt. was just supposed to be for 30 minutes. However she was 15 minutes late. I figured she would add some time at the end but she didn`t. Had I known this, I would never have gotten into the conversation I did with her.

I was talking about something really heavy. When it came near the end of our time, I was quite upset. I was angry with her that she cut me short of time and said that it wasn`t right that she leave me so upset when it wasn`t my fault she was late. For me, that is really really speaking my mind and to say that, I was pretty upset because I would never say something like that under normal circumstances.

So I left clearly upset. I swallowed 5 or 6 of my Clonazapam chased down with Ocycodone which was my first mistake.

I didn`t know what to do next so I drove directly home and took a razor and sliced part of my hand quite deep. This was my second mistake.

I had another appt. with my regular physician almost right after the one with my therapist so I went to it. I made up a story of how I cut my hand and he stitched it up.

I am a very impulsive person by the way. The office is located in a store. Where i then took 4 or 5 items to try to help me feel better. Mistake number three. But now all I feel is worse.

I am supposed to see my therapist again on Monday but am so angry at her right now. It feels like she doesn`t care how I was feeling and gave me no way to cope with my feelings. But if I don`t go, it only hurts me.

So now I have cut, stole and feel miserable and hopeless and very very alone with a whole pile of overwhelming feelings. I don`t know what to do with them or myself.

I hope you can help me.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

I am sorry that you feel so upset and this happened to you. I understand your reaction. You felt hurt by your therapist's reaction to your expectation that she would give you the time you deserved.

 

I think it is good that you told your therapist how you felt. That is a good response to what happened.

 

Most people would be very upset about being shortchanged by their therapist. You expect your time and when the therapist was late, it was her responsibility to make sure you got the time you paid for. When she did not give you your time, she violated the trust you had in her that she would take care of you and be fair to you.

 

Let's take a look at this from another perspective. When you think about what happened with your therapist and think about how you felt, does it remind you of another time you felt this way? Maybe in your childhood?

 

When you felt these feelings and decided to act out your hurt, what thoughts went through your mind?

 

I am asking these questions to clarify the possible origins of your feelings and also to get a better idea of your thought process when you act out your feelings. This will help us figure out better ways for you to express your feelings.

 

Kate

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