I am not getting any replies from you except the one I answered in the last day. JA has been having problems so they may not be getting through. How you sent this request was perfect- with my name in front and put through as a request. It came through just fine. You can also just continue this thread if that helps.
Thank you for sharing your problem with me. I feel honored that you trust me enough with your feelings.
Kleptomania, which is the compulsion to steal without the need for monetary gain, is usually based in OCD or impulse control disorders. It provides a feeling of control (like you described) and helps the person relieve stress. The feelings you have inside can become so overwhelming that you need release. Because you find it difficult to release them, due to guilt, lack of self esteem and other causes, you end up with an overwhelming need to let off steam, for lack of a better word. This is where the kleptomania comes in.
Although there is no proven treatment for kleptomania, therapy does help. Also, doing what you did and acknowledging the problem is a great first step. When you can admit to the problem and share it (with trusted individuals in your life) then you have won half the battle.
What can help you is aversion therapy. Try to do something very uncomfortable when you think about stealing, such as pinching yourself (lightly). Or think about getting caught and run through the whole scenario each time you feel the need to steal.
It would also help if you find new ways to express your feelings. Right now, you can express them, but you find it unacceptable. Your self esteem is low enough where you feel prohibited from sharing, as if you are imposing on others. Building up your self esteem and seeing yourself as worthy are great ways to address the stealing as well.
Another option is a self help group. You can attend one on line so you can remain anonymous. Here is a link to help you:
As with all things, the more you know about this disorder the better equipped you are to help yourself.
Again, thank you for sharing with me. I am available to help as much as you feel you need me to.