Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
Whenever a person changes a usually normal behavior like your husband has, going from a normal sex drive to a withdrawal, the first step is to see if there is a medical reason for the change. Often, with men in middle age, their testosterone declines and they start to lose the sex drive they enjoyed in early adulthood. Although it is a very normal response to aging, many men become uncomfortable with acknowledging there is a problem. They feel embarrassed and feel that their manhood is in question. Men do not share problems and difficulties like women do, so they often keep the problem to themselves, even with their wives.
If your husband is willing, have him see his doctor for a checkup. You can mention your concerns to the doctor, but it is probably best to allow your husband to address this alone. If there is no physical cause to your husband's lack of interest, then it has to do with him or his perception of your relationship.
Some of the most common reasons men lose interest in sex in their marriages (besides physical reasons) are:
No longer interested in sex- many men just lose interest.
It is very understandable that you feel rejected. But this is not about you and your ability to be there for your husband. This is an issue your husband is having. Getting him to communicate why he feels this way would help you both solve the problem.
One thing you can do is see a therapist. If he will not go with you, go on your own. You need support to help work on your feelings about this situation. Talk to your doctor for a referral or search on line at http://www.psychotherapy.co.za/.
You can also learn more about what may be happening in your marriage. Here are some resources to help:
The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire by Michele Weiner-Davis
The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide by Michele Weiner-Davis
The 30-Day Sex Solution: How to Build Intimacy, Enhance your Sex Life, and Strengthen Your Relationship on One Month's Time by Victoria Zdrok Wilson and XXXXX XXXXX
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
If your husband can overcome his feelings and begin to share what is wrong, you both can work on this problem and get back the sex life you enjoyed before.
I hope this has helped,Kate