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OK... I can see you are off line, so I will try and answer your question with what you have posted so far.
I have read your post a couple of times and I am sorry that you find yourself in this position. Being in a position like this brings much confusion and even anxiety. Based on what you have posted, my guess he is a genuine and caring man. Furthermore, based on my experience, it is very, very likely that he has no idea what he is putting you through.
There are a couple of things here....
... At least a couple.....
One, his friend came and interrupted your conversation that was going well and you were enjoying it, but this ended when the friend came along. This is not the end of the world, but it's a "little inconsiderate"
My question was not answered. What is your opinion on me telling him I was surprised he didn't call me back as he said he would.?
Of course, these things happen sometimes, so the promise to call made it all OK....
The specific answer to your question is I am in total agreement that you should tell him you are surprised he didn't call you..
I don't think you will scare him off as you mentioned.
My guess is he doesn't know what he has done - but once you explain it to him, he will very likely see your point of view.
How am I doing?
It is advisable to make it clear that respect is important to you.
I am a very confident professional woman, but every time I don't hear from him I get insecure. We shared a wonderful trip to CA in August for a med. convention, but he hasn't made plans for the next time even though he says it was wonderful. I feel I am getting continuous mixed messages. If I don't hear from him a few days should I call him?
Yes, if you don't hear from him you definitely should call him...
How should I begin the conversation?
Be sincere and direct. It is always good to put him at ease, but don't sugarcoat anything. Specifically, you may want to say, "I'd like to talk about our relationship. How do you think it's going so far?" After the conversation has begun....
.... You can get specific. Ask him if he is pleased, then tell him some things you are pleased with, but then tell him of the needs that you are missing (such as respect).
That approach won't scare someone who says they are not ready for marriage yet? He says we are so comfortable with one another since the beginning. Our physical and emotional chemistry is electrifying that's why I'm puzzled he hasn't called.
Ask him if he is able to give you more respect and tell him specific behaviors that you need (such as more consistent phone calls, etc.)
It really shouldn't scare him. Tell him you understand he doesn't want marriage, but short of marriage, you have some very reasonable needs.
Thank you! It is very frustrating at times because I know he is so new to this and I have been single for several years.
The key is to be understanding and sincere.