Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
Suicide is never a good option. It seems to be because it would end the pain you feel. And that is very understandable. Being depressed is suffering. And no one wants to suffer. When you feel worthless and hopeless, nothing seems right. If you could find that one thing that could make you feel better, it would be worth it.
Reaching out is a very healthy way to help yourself. Talking to someone on line would help give you a place to turn to when you feel down. Also, an expert can help you work out how to resolve your depression.
If you do feel suicidal and feel you might try to hurt yourself, please go to an emergency room. Keep the number with you at all times. Also, if you have others in your life that you feel you can trust and that will help, keep their numbers with you as well. You just need to dial one number to keep yourself safe.
Have you tried other anti depressants? It is very normal to try many different medications before you find one that helps. Not all medications work for everyone. Since one person's body chemistry can differ greatly from another, trying different medications is normal. Talk to your doctor about changing your medication. It can make a world of difference when you find that one medication that works with your body chemistry.
I would certainly like to work with you on Just Answer as long as you would need to. But if you want to try another expert, that is good too. You need to find someone you feel clicks with you and you can trust. All therapists should be non judgmental. You cannot help someone if you are too busy judging. That makes therapy useless.
Some people on Just Answer, instead of just asking questions, pick an expert they feel understands their situation and they work with them exclusively. It is easy to do. Typically, the client will continue the thread they started initially and just pay the expert as they get the replies. If you start a new question, to be sure you get the expert you want, place the experts name in front of your question. So for example, if you worked with me, you would start your question with "Hi Kate, I wondered if you could help me with....." or you can start with "For Kate only". You can also just continue with the thread you started. As far as I know, most experts are willing to work with clients on a long term basis.
I hope this has helped. Please let me know if you have any more questions.
I haven't heard from you. Did you have more questions or want clarification?