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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5762
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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From reading the signs of depression online Im worried that

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From reading the signs of depression online I'm worried that my girlfriend has it. She has almost all the symptoms from being angry, to the poor sleeping habits, losing interest in the things she usually enjoys, and worst of all she tells me that I'm to good for her I deserve better than her. She told me that she has lost herself and doesn't know where she went. She won't return my phone calls or even her best friends. I know rite now there are many things bothering her. She's been a teacher formany years and had her job cut to part time, and three people very close to her are all married or getting married this year and have all purchased a home this year. I know she's been having doubts and feels like she is being left behind. But getting married is something we have talked about and she knows we are both ready. She's a wonderful person and my best friend and I hate to see her like this. I don't know what to do from here. Thank you C.K.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi C.K., I'd like to help you with your question.


I agree with you, it does sound like your girlfriend has depression. And I think your assessment of the reasons are good as well. She may be feeling that there are too many situations in her life that are negative, and she has taken them on as meaning there is something wrong with her.


Sometimes people experience depression when they feel overwhelmed by life's stressors. When they do not feel they have the resources to cope, they become depressed. Your girlfriend may need some help to feel better.


Talking to her is great. It helps her know she is not alone and that you care. Support like that makes a big difference.


You could also talk to her about seeing a therapist. She could have an evaluation done to determine if she does have depression and what type (it ranges from adjustment disorder to severe depression). The therapist can then offer her the appropriate treatment for her diagnosis. Most likely, given what you have described, she would probably benefit from short term outpatient therapy. It would help her express her feelings and learn new ways to cope.


She can also help herself. Here are some resources to get her (and you) started:


The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs by Stephen S. Ilardi


Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You by Richard O'Connor


Talking to Depression: Simple Ways To Connect When Someone In Your Life Is Depressed: Simple Ways To Connect When Someone In Your Life Is Depressed by Claudia J. Strauss and Martha Manning


You can find these books on or your local library may have them for you.


I hope this has helped,


Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you what you said did help. But how can I approach her when she won't answer the phone or a txt message. I went to her house to see her sunday and she barely said a word. She was upset and I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said yes. She keeps saying she needs time but how much. She is very stubborn and maybe just get upset ar the idea of needing to see a therapist. I also know she is on anti anxiety meds to I don't know if that has a factor on any of this.
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Continuing to see her helps. It may not seem like it, but you are making a difference. Unless she is a danger to herself or others, she cannot be forced to get help. But encouraging her makes a difference.


Encourage her and allow her a chance to talk about how she feels. If she can talk about it, she will feel better.


If she is willing, see if she will go see her regular doctor. Then call ahead of time to allow the doctor to know what is going on. The doctor can't talk to you (patient confidentiality) but at least you can give them an idea of what to look for. Maybe she will listen to the doctor or the doctor can prescribe some medication to help.


Here is another resource to help:


Remember, you can help but she has to decide to get better. Monitor the situation, be there for her, and most of all take care of yourself.



Customer: replied 5 years ago.
More good advice. I'm sure getting better doesn't happen over night as much as I wish it could. And taking care of myself is huge your rite I was so upset about all this I've missed work. I've barely even eaten I lost like 12 lbs in a week. But I can't help her if I'm in a funk so I'm just keeping myself occupied and trying to stay positive. Thank you
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You are welcome. I am glad I could help.






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