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Thanks for contacting Just Answer. Let me see if I can help here....
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OK.... I am so sorry you find yourself in this position - it is one of the most challenging to deal with at work...
I'm hoping that this won't be posted on a bulletin board....
yes - very unfortunate - think it's because I'm single
It will not be posted anywhere like a bulletin board - you have anonymity at Just Answer.
thank you - awesome!
Having said that, I have dealt with similar situations that clients have brought to me.
Here has what has helped them....
thank you - this is common from what I gather....
a form of bullying
You MUST have something tangible. How do you know they are doing this? Is there e mails, etc.?
Yes it is a form of bullying - this is how women bully.... by exclusion. With men it's more physical threats.
oh, it's all word of mouth....unfortunately, nothing tangible
oh wow! thank you for your insight...
Once you have something tangible - some "proof" you must keep your own records. Proof could come from other coworkers who have heard them speaking of this.
other coworkers actions and behavior is only tangible thing....really...no hard evidence but I'm not dumb either
oh yes, have other coworkers that have thought the same....
It could also come from events, such as people walking away, excluding you from work related events..
when they are separate - outside of work they approach me and try to be so friendly and nice
If other coworkers have said things or referred to this, take note of it and then take it to human resources and explain that this is creating a "hostile work environment" that will get their attention.
I am tempted to stop ALL conversation with them - don't even say 'hello'
this way they know that I know and do not accept what they are doing....is this adviseable?
It can be so frustrating, but I would counsel against that at this point. However, explain your frustration to the person in charge of Human Resources.
If you start reacting to their "bullying", they have "won"
ok....understand sure but HR is there to protect a company not the employee, unfortuantely
oh, I see your point....
sorry for the typo's
how should I 'act'?
as normal and as if nothing is going on?
Yes, they will protect the company first and foremost - that is why I counsel you to tell then you are dealing with a hostile work environment - they will want to protect the company from a lawsuit from you.
You should take a deep breath and act as normal a possible - not easy I know, but.... it's the best way.
The other thing HR will want to protect from is how this conflict will impact productivity.
oh got it....thanks.....yes, I see your logic. Yes, and thank you for pointing that women do bully this way...
thank you - have a great day!