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AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience:  Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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how can i best help my partner who has narcissistic personality

Resolved Question:

how can i best help my partner who has narcissistic personality disorder ?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 5 years ago.

AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer. Let me see if I can help here....

AgapeDoc :

It is my goal to answer your question and exceed your expectations. If you are satisfied with my efforts will you click on the green accept button?

AgapeDoc :

Ok... I don't know if you are at your computer, so let me go ahead and see if I can help with what you have posted so far......

AgapeDoc :

..... First of all, let me say that I am so sorry you find yourself in this challenging position. Loving someone with any disorder presents challenges, but there are some disorders that are more challenging than others and narcissistic personality disorder is one of the more challenging ones for sure :(

AgapeDoc :

Now.... The very best thing you can do is to learn as much about this disorder as possible. Become an absolute expert in this area. This will help you better understand how your partner developed this disorder, how many people suffer with this disorder, and the effective treatments for this disorder......

AgapeDoc :

.... Of course this is what you are doing here on this site, so I commend you!

AgapeDoc :

Having said that, it is important that you realize that your partner needs professional help. You can not fix this issue for your partner - your partner needs the help of a clinician who has professional training in this area.....

AgapeDoc :

..... now if you partner doesn't want to engage in therapy (which is often the case) you may take the approach to suggest a "Relationship Coach" for the both of you. A Relationship Coach might be a therapist who sort of puts on a different hat if you will. If you can't find a Relationship Coach in your area, you can contact a therapist and explain that you want him/her to take on that role for you. This is not uncommon.

AgapeDoc :

YOUR role in this is to support your partner, gain an understanding of what's going on in your partners head AND (this is important) take care of yourself FIRST! If you don't take care of yourself, you will not have the tools or energy to support your partner. That is the answer to the question you posted.

AgapeDoc :

Now.. Let me give you a little added bonus......

AgapeDoc :

How am I doing?

AgapeDoc :

.... I strongly recommend that you read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells. I can't recall the author right now, but it is a wonder book for people in your situation. It mostly addresses dealing with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder - but I have had a several clients read this regardless of the issue and it has helped them.

AgapeDoc :

My computer indicates that you are in CHAT, but you may have stepped away from our computer. I hope that I have been helpful to you and I do wish you much success. It will not be easy for you, but there is a way to manage and succeed in your situation.

Customer:

im worried that i may not be able to cope

AgapeDoc :

I understand completely......

AgapeDoc :

You are dealing with a very challenging situation as I mentioned above. That is why the best thing for you to do is to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. Your original question....

AgapeDoc :

.... was about helping your partner so that is what I addressed in my response. However....

AgapeDoc :

... you are right to concerned about you ability to "cope" as you say.

AgapeDoc :

I would suggest that you consult with a therapist for yourself and explain that you need some support with stress management given your situation.....

Customer:

thank you for that i was feeling overwhelmed

AgapeDoc :

....Another thing that has been wonderful for folks in your situation is to participate in a support group. You can find one in your area that will meet your needs I'm confident of that. If not, you can start one! Just go to meetup.com and register. You will be surprised how easy it is :)

AgapeDoc :

I understand completely :)

AgapeDoc :

Is there anything else?

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