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AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience:  Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
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wow. im right now watching this young lady who had an abortion,

Resolved Question:

wow. i'm right now watching this young lady who had an abortion, and the regrets, and she is talking about trying to move on from the man that she still has feelings for. Could so be me right now but in a different way. My husband, left me and my two girls on june 23, 2011 and we haven't seen him since. left us with less than no money, they turned off our water. why can't i move on, the depression is extreme, the anxiety and the panic and the shame and everything. why do i still love him so and miss him so much. it was the girls stepfather, and we would have been married 4 yrs in oct. now, my life is such a mess, i feel, he didnt even have enough regard for me to even face me at this point and so hard to believe he has done this. i have lost my job, and the depression is just overwhelming. darla
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 2 years ago.

AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer. Let's see if I can help here....

Customer:

I'm here. thank you.

AgapeDoc :

It is my goal to answer your question and exceed your expectations. If you are satisfied with my efforts, will you click on the green accept button?

Customer:

yes

AgapeDoc :

OK... I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. I have read you post a couple of times now and it is heart breaking :(

AgapeDoc :

Anyone would be overwhelmed with even HALF of what you are dealing with! I don't even know how you are able to cope and be strong enough to ask for help and support - in spite of what you are feeling... YOU AER A SURVIVOR!

Customer:

i called our church, we have an agency thru baptist system where i can go to counseling, but i haven't yet. i can't even leave the house. i called and cancelled my first appointment with carenet (thru our church) cause i was just so scared. this is all just so so hard for me. we moved here to north carolina approx 2.5 yrs ago cause he wanted to, my girls adored him (only father they have known since their father and i divorced when they were 3 and 5) they are 18 and 15 (16 this month), we know noone here, my family back in arkansas, my daughter starting univ of nc wilmington this end of this month, they love it here, i can't leave, but i have no life here. i gave up an 18 yr job (i am a cpa) to move here, and have had so much trouble finding a position and i am tired. and very scared.

AgapeDoc :

In my experience, it is very important to deal with overwhelming situations such as this by taking steps - sometimes very small steps. This is may be (very likely will be) challenging to consider because there are so many things you need help with.

AgapeDoc :

You have no idea how much joy you have just given me by sharing that you are a woman of faith!!! Many of my clients are not Christian, but I am and we both know that God will not leave us of forsake us. I know that right now, you are struggling so much and I don't want to sound preachy to you or anything and I don't mean to minimize your very challenging trials. However........

AgapeDoc :

...... You have given me much reason to hope for you and believe that as challenging as this is, you will be blessed beyond your trials!! By God's unending grace, mercy, and love!

AgapeDoc :

Now, as I was saying......

AgapeDoc :

.... it is best to break down your challenges and don't try and solve everything at once. Choose one issue to address at a time. I strongly suggest you follow up with the counselor at church and allow the Holy Spirit to use him/her in your life. God specializes in the impossible :)

Customer:

i am trying, but my anxiety is thru the roof! our pastor here at southside baptist, and our youth director all encouraging me. but in the past, i have also been on anti anxiety medication, but when eric and i got married, it was so expensive that i quit getting it. and thank you for saying that. my girls just went on a mission trip to buffalo, ny and nyc approx 4 days ago (because we already had it paid) so, i am trying to keep things as normal for them as i can, but i am loosing my mind. and i know medication isn't everything but i know i have to see the counselor at carenet and get to psychiatrist and get on anti anxiety because i am having horrible attacks. and i am physically and mentally spent. i am finding it even hard to get out of bed. but how can i even begin to find a new job when i am an emotional wreck. and the financial position he has left us in, just everything piling one after the other. and i just read your response and i know you are so right. but it's that first step. sitting here crying my eyes out. it seems so hopeless.

AgapeDoc :

Allow this counselor to help you determine which issue you will address first and map out a plan to make progress on this issue. You don't have to solve it all right now - just make progress. In solution focused counseling it is important to let small successes unfold into larger successes :)

Customer:

ok. i just have to do it. and i also have to deal with accepting it.

AgapeDoc :

I hear exactly what you are saying!!! It is much easier for me to say than for you to do :) Please know that I am praying for you. Also, remember that this is not your fault!!!!!!!

Customer:

and i hear you saying that i am getting overwhelmed, and i really am, to the point i am not accomplishing anything. so, i need to take small steps and focus and get to that counselor. and try not to think it was me. but right now i do and hopefully that will change. but its still a loss, even though he has done this, miss him terribly, and hopefully i will get thru that as well. thank you.

AgapeDoc :

Your story reminds me of Job! He did nothing to deserve what Satan did to him and yet he suffered. What you are contending with beyond what most could endure.

Customer:

well lol that gave me some strength. job re: me lol (thank you) lol

AgapeDoc :

Yes, it is still a loss, no doubt about that :) It odd how we can be hurt by someone and still love them so. Job :)

Customer:

thank you for talking to me. i will call first thing in the morning and reschedule that appt.

AgapeDoc :

I am so happy God arranged this meeting. You will be in my prayers :)

Customer:

i have no choice but to get thru this, i have 2 wonderful girls counting on me. thank you. and you will be in mine. yes, if you could? pray for darla, maddie & preslie , thank you my friend.

AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
Experience: Dr. W. D. Nicholas will help you find solutions to life's challenging issues.
AgapeDoc and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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