Thank you for requesting my help. I'm glad to be here for you.
I doubt the rest of your life will be like this. There are things you can do to reduce your fear and help you cope better.
Valium is a good drug to try but it might not be working for you. Have you tried other medications to help you manage your anxiety? Xanax, Klonopin, and Ativan are good medications to help reduce anxiety. Here is a link to help you with information about anti anxiety medication and how to find the right one for you:
Have you tried therapy? Therapy can provide support and someone you can turn to to help you cope with your fear. Find a therapist that has experience in grief and health issues. The links I gave you yesterday should have information on how to find someone in your area. If not, talk with your doctor about anyone he/she might know of.
Faith can be a comfort when facing a chronic illness. If you attend church, talk with your pastor. See if others in your church have a group or support staff that can help you. Praying, reading and other faith activities can help. And if you feel up to it, get more involved with your church. It can keep you busy and help remind you that God is there for you.
Grieving is an important part of facing a terminal illness. People who have to face a life altering illness go through stages of grief. Their lives are no longer the same. They cannot make plans and face the end of dreams they had for their futures. It is the hardest of all things to face. Grieving is hard and difficult. You should not do this alone. Try the support groups I recommend. You need others who understand how you feel. Also, here are some books to help you at home:
Dying: A Book of Comfort by Pat McNees
Suffering in Slow Motion: Help for Long Journey Through Dementia and Other Terminal Illness by Pamala Kennedy and Richard Kennedy
Peaceful Dying: The Step-by-step Guide To Preserving Your Dignity, Your Choice, And Your Inner Peace At The End Of Life by Daniel R. Tobin and XXXXX XXXXXndsey
When there Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief by Charlie Walton
Try Amazon.com to find these books or your local library may have them for you.
Also, you may want to talk to your doctor about hospice. It may be too early, but if you can get involved now you can benefit from the staff's understanding and care. Hospice cares for people who are ill through providing support emotionally, physically and spiritually.
And you are always welcome to talk to someone here on Just Answer. If you want to talk with me, I would be more than happy to be here for you. When you request me or any other expert, just put the name of the expert in front of your question so you can get the expert you want. We are here to help.
Let me know if I can help you further,