By working with others in recovery, her having sex when she has been drinking can be a huge trigger. That shows no respect for your recovery! Most wives would avoid just so their partners don't see it, smell it, or think about it. Being controlling is another very dangerous relationship problem. Control never brings about positive feelings or a healthy relationship. If you have not missed her that says something about your feelings. You should go to AlAnon or AA whichever will be helpful to you at this present time. It would give you support. This relationship seems to have a lot of problems including the fact that it may have become a negative force in your life. You have to consider what it is you want and it can't be based on children. Children survive broken homes all the time. I would say that you can both attend marriage counseling but you have to want to stay together. You shouldn't stay in any relationship out of obligation. You have to decide what is best for you and your sobriety
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OK so i will seek a professional therapist and go from there. I have never thought about the sex thing as a trigger but she has been asking me just how long i plan to stay sober. It is sad she wanted to leave when i was drinking but as i have gotten healthier she seems to want more control. My sponsor is a baptist and really beats me up about the seperation question saying that is not spiritual or right.
But i do deserve to be happy right ? If i start drinking again it could go really bad. Thank you for your answer ill click the pay button after your response.