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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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My husband has become a slug. He starts projects and never finishes them. Right now I ha

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My husband has become a slug. He starts projects and never finishes them. Right now I have a deck that he promised me three years ago. It small, we have all the lumber, etc. we need and it is still not built. Our roof is leaking and he keeps saying he will get to it....just maybe not this year. My yard is a mess and he expects me to do everything from digging to watering. He does get on his garden tractor and mow the front acre cause he "likes to ride his tractor". He won't do anything but he also refuses to let me hire someone to do it. I am about ready to pack up and move to a hotel until he finishes his projects. It would probably be cheaper to pay someone to do it. Any suggestion for me? I am a 65 year old partially disabled woman and he is a 68 year old man. He also has recently diagnosed medical conditions but that doesn't count for the last 26 years of this behavior. I am on Prozac for depression but I don't I am depressed as much as frustrated....HELP
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 5 years ago.
So he didn't just become a slug; this is his personality because it is been going on for years. Nagging and empty threats don't work. I think it is time for you to hire someone else and stop relying on him because frankly he is unreliable. So what you do is let him know that you will be calling a professional by a certain time if the project is not completed. No arguing, no nagging; simply tell him what you are going to do and leave it up to him to do it or not. But the main point here is that you can't threaten it; you need to stick to your word. Just like with kids, if you threaten to punish them and you never do then they won't take you seriously. He doesn't take you seriously. So after the first couple of times you hire someone then he will start to take you seriously and he may just get off the couch and help out. If not, then at least you have the projects completed by someone who knows what they are doing.
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