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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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I have Epilepsy and do not drive because of it. I have 3 children

Customer Question

I have Epilepsy and do not drive because of it. I have 3 children , 17, 15 ans 10. I was only married once to my youngest father, we divorced yrs ago due to his verbal abuse . He knew he could (try and control me) because of my epilepsy. I left and have sence been in 2 relationships since. One that seemed perfect and was 14 months and we lived together, just ended last week and I cant seem to pull myself together. He had a hard time dealing with my condition and the help I needed getting around also there was strain between his family he lived with and myself. But we got along great for the most part and promised to grow old together. My heart is broken and I miss him soooo much. I want to grow old with someone. I cant stop crying
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Penny Rayas, MFT replied 3 years ago.

I am sorry about the pain you are going through, it sounds like you are grieving the relationship that ended just last week. I think it is normal to feel the way you do. Let yourself grief this relationship. I wonder if you can seek the comfort of friends or family. Spend your free time with friends. I wonder if you can join an Epilepsy group online. Also getting on the correct medication for Epilepsy is important so if you symptoms are not controlled you can't live life to the fullest. Please don't give up and keep seeing your doctor for medication trials. I think getting better will make you feel better because chronic health conditions reduce your serotonin levels and make you more depressed also. My daughter in law has epilepsy and she finally got on the right medication and both her mood and Epilepsy are stable now. It makes such a difference. Feeling sad when a love relationship ends is very normal. Try to keep busy doing things with your friends. I know you don't drive but taking walks, going places with a friend can help.

Now some tips about making the break up easier.

First thing, buy yourself a journal. A pretty, feminine, decorative journal to keep track daily with your emotional healing. Your first entry on Day one should be the good-bye letter. Be sure to make it a good letter. Highlight your attributes and all his negative character flaws. Be sure to tell him how much better life has become and how thankful you are that he had the insight to know you deserved better than him. Keep this letter, don't send it, you will want to check back at the end of your journey and see just how truthful your feelings were at that time of such pain.

Day two , why not make a list of all the things he will miss about you? Your sparkling smile, your quick wit, that deep throaty laugh or the way you loved watching football with the guys. Maybe your oatmeal raison cookies that he used to love so much. Or, how about your sexual prowess and how he really used to make your motor hum. Don't forget all those dinners and movies you paid for and how you would clean his place for him. You know, make it a long list of things he will miss about you today, tomorrow and every day after.

 

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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT
Family Therapist
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I have 20 years experience in the mental health field