The situation with my boyfriend, Brian, has become significantly worst since our last correspondence.
However, since that time, I've become more aware of the specifics regarding his behavior, and am
now better able to describe them to you.
Just for your information; Brian is 46 and I am 53. I have been divorced for 23 years, and have a grown
daughter. Brian became a widower 2 years ago, and has no children. His wife had been ill for about 5 years
and he doesn't seem to have any lingering issues about her passing. In fact, he often says that I'm the one
that he's supposed to be with " on earth as well as in heaven." Also, Brian is an 8 year survivor of stage 4 colon
cancer. He still has lingering effects from the disease as well as the chemotherapy.
First of all , Brian talks incessantly!! He talks to the point of being rude. It was said that he doesn't talk
TO you, rather he talks AT you. We've had dinners with each set of parents, and each time...he does all
the talking. Absolutely no one can get a word in. I couldn't get to know his parents nor vice versa because
he talked nonstop! Once while Brian was away from the table, I laughingly said "Oh my, he just talks so much!",
and with equal amazement in his voice his Dad said "Yeah, and he's always been like that!!", and his Mom was
nodding in agreement. What's shocking to me is that I patiently listen attentively without interruption while he
talks for 15-20 minutes, or more, nonstop about something, and when I get an opportunity to comment on
the subject or add
to the conversation... he begins to interrupt me after only a sentence or two! When I stop him
and say "let me finish please..." 3-5 times inside a 2 minute period he says "I get to talk too...."!!!! So, as you can
imagine, it's very difficult to actually converse with Brian because he does all the talking which brings us to one of
the primary problems...
Not only does Brian constantly interrupt me while I'm trying to make a point... he actually tries to finish my sentences
to be what he THINKS I'm going to say!! Worst yet, he has tendency to finish them in a very negative way, direct it at
himself (if at all possible) AND THEN BECOMES OFFENDED AND ANGRY AT ME for having said it!! Then he seems
to twist and turn everything I say when I try to correct the statement to be true to what I would have said if I were allowed
to finish my sentence or statement.. It quickly spirals out of control and he quickly starts to raise his voice, and says "If you
would just put your lips together for just one minute and let me finish what I was saying" (remember he had been doing all the
talking up to that point) and then becomes angrier and angrier, and nothing I say helps. Soon he starts shouting and
SCREAMING while jabbing his finger at me The same happens when he and I have the smallest conflict of opinion,
and usually over nothing important. He's seems very intolerant in differences of opinion. In addition, he constantly brings
back up settled disputes from the past and then becomes just as irate as before... and before it's over he's shouting about
it again. In fact, I'm still hearing about the 10 days that he did
not get to see me around Valentine's day... because I had been
sick with the flu!!
I very recently realized that if he can not dictate or have full control of something, such as my wanting to have dinner with
his parents on Friday or Sunday rather than on Saturday as he'd planned, he becomes angry to the point of shouting
and hangs up the phone on me. We ended up not going at all!! The subject came up again, and when he realized that I was
not going to agree with him again he said "I don't think we should talk about this", and I said "OK". But he immediately
brought it back up and started talking about it anyway, and he became angry and began shouting and screaming AGAIN...
only that time he somehow made it out to be an ugly insult toward his parents and was demanding an apology from me for it!!
He's actually demanded a major apology for something 3 out of the past 4 weeks! The first couple of times I thought
'what the heck, give him the damn apology so we can get past this!', and so I apologized even though I knew I had not
said or done anything wrong... but I refused to give an apology the last time, and I pointed out that he'd demanded an
apology each week for the past 3 weeks. He has also become very quick to just hang up the phone on me when he's
angry, and I have always called him back, and sometimes as many 3-4 times in an effort to resolve a conflict. In fact,
I've always been the one to break the ice in disputes. However, I warned him about hanging up on me the last time we
had a disagreement and he began having another temper outburst. I told him that his getting angry and hanging up on
me again it would end our relationship. Before it was over, he had demanded another apology for somethin