How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Olsen Your Own Question

Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
46062601
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Olsen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 10 year old daughter just told me she thinks she is different

Resolved Question:

My 10 year old daughter just told me she thinks she is "different" She doesn't like the things the other kids her age do and she still likes to play with toys. She doesn't have a "best" friend and that bothers her. What kind of advice can I give her and how can I help her?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hello,
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
Let me ask you a question first.
How is she doing in home and school?
Does she have a friend? Does she get along with her sibling if she has?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
Please also allow 30 min. for me to get back to you.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She is not the best student. I had to get her a tutor last year, but then at the end of the year she got the educational improvement award. She doesn't have siblings, we have two dogs and a cat. Her dad and I are not together and haven't been since I was 3 months pregnant. He is on wife #2. I believe we do the best we can to coparent. She sees her dad every Friday to Saturday every week, so it's difficult for her to have "play dates" or have a sleep over, because she is at her dad's during those times. She does have a "friend" actually, she has several, but they don't talk on the phone, just people to hang out with at school. Also, she is one of the only white kids in a predominantly black school. She goes to Catholic school. I live in Inglewood, CA
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for your response.

Your 10 year-old daughter may be feeling like she does not belong to her peers in school.
It is normal for kids of her age to play with toys developmentally.
So, you may tell her that it's ok for her to play with toys.
Regarding friend issues, she has several friends. No problem.
You may tell her that she will have a best friend later.
Indeed, it's common for children of her age to change friends often.
She also attends a predominantly black Catholic school.
So, it's normal for her to find some difference between her and her black peers.
I think she started to compare herself to her peers in the process of identity development. This is a phase. It's normal.

Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,




Customer: replied 3 years ago.

What about the fact that she fells she is "different"? I asked her how that made her feel and she said that she knows she is "different". What could "different" mean?

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
So, you asked her what made her feel different.
She responded she knows she is different. She did not articulate it further.
You may try to ask her what makes her feel different from her peers again.
She may have a clear answer or not.
For some reason, she may not be able to say it. For example, she may not be aware of what makes her feel different. She may feel like she should not talk about her skin color comparing to her black peers subconsciously as she attends a predominantly black school.
It's common for children of her age not to be able to verbalize all her feelings and thoughts.
She may also be emotionally younger than her age.

If you are concerned about her feelings or behavior later, you may take her to a child psychotherapist in your area.
She may see a child psychotherapist specializing in play therapy weekly for 3-6 months. Child therapist may help her to explore, express and process her big feelings and thoughts about self and/or others, which in turn may help her to feel less anxious about self.

Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,



Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience: PsyD Psychologist
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education