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mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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I would like some advice. Both my boyfriend and I are 59 years old. He has been married

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I would like some advice. Both my boyfriend and I are 59 years old. He has been married 3 times, each time less than 5 years. I have been married twice, 13 years and 18 years. His angry outbursts are making me reconsider our commitment, since I feel he should have a better handle on his emotions by this age and I don't want to spend any time dealing with his rage. I admit I am particularly sensitive to anger since I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and a very passive, overwhelmed mother. I have been told I have extremely low self esteem,(by a therapist) but I truly want this relationship to work. It feels like I am doing all the "heavy lifting"! Should I just cut my losses and run; there are many men that are interested in dating me...
Confused
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 3 years ago.

Good evening and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. First let me say that I am sincerely XXXXX XXXXX hear of the difficulty you're experiencing in this relationship as no one should have to endure angry outbursts like that.

 

Based on the information you've kindly provided it sounds like a tenuous relationship that you're in. My initial suggestion would be to speak with your boyfriend about the impact that his anger has on you as well as what it appears to be triggering (old memories and such) and gauge his response. If he is receptive and agrees to work on it, meaning seeing a therapist to get better control of and regulate his emotions than it would certainly be worth it to try and work things through with him as you seem to truly care about him.

 

However, if he is in denial of his behavior and is dismissive of your needs and request then my suggestion to you would be to consider seeing a therapist in order for you to decipher what is the most appropriate decision to make regarding your own future and to decide whether it is worth staying in the relationship or time for you to consider moving on with your life and finding a partner that you are more compatible with and who is more respectful of you.

 

My apologies if I have come across as abrupt but I feel it necessary to give you the most informed answer and the most appropriate suggestions.

 

 

I hope that I have been helpful in answering your question and that you found my suggestions to be of benefit to you.

 

Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you. I want to be certain that I have answered your question completely and thoroughly.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.

 

 

 

 

 

mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience: Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience