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mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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a year later I still cant let go of the anger after my husbands

Resolved Question:

a year later I still can't let go of the anger after my husbands 1 nighter....if that is all it was. How can I move past this and get on with our life together?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 5 years ago.
Good morning and thank you for the opportunity to help in answering your question. I'm very sorry to hear of the difficulty you're going through. Based on the information you've provided my impression is such that you're still experiencing intrusive thoughts about the event regarding your husband. Simply put intrusive thoughts pop into your head without any prompting or triggers. I saw that you mentioned counseling under already tried and I imagine that was marital counseling.

At this point the most effective thing you can do would be to see a therapist individually...specifically one that is experienced in cognitive behavior therapy which explores further your thoughts and the resulting emotional and behavioral reactions from those thoughts which in your situation would be anger.

I would also like to suggest a workbook that is based on the same therapeutic approach and includes exercise sheets to alter the thoughts you're experiencing as well as to learn new ways of coping when they do come. Here is a link to the workbook mentioned.

Finally, given that this woman is still trying to contact your husband and he's been very open it seems about you checking his phone, etc. I would also suggest that he either block her number or if plausible have his phone number changed which will hell with the frequency of the thoughts and resulting anger you're experiencing.

I hope that I've been helpful in answering your question and that you found my suggestions to be of benefit to you.

Please let me know if you have any further questions as I want to ensure your question is completely and thoroughly answered.

If you feel I've answered your question to your satisfaction I would sincerely XXXXX XXXXX clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.
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