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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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recovery

Customer Question

Hi, I think I am recovering from a period of deep depression, and a time when I lost my faith, family and my friends, and my life in a way. I am trying to rediscover 'me' - that is, I feel like I'm being a doormat, but I want to stop. I'm trying to start doing things I enjoy doing & am good at again, but I have a lot of mood swings and feel shame, rage and other strong negative feelings often on a daily basis. I am wondering if anyone has any programs, books or websites they could suggest to help me recover basically. I also have a background in a very psychologically/emotionally abusive family (that I think still function that way to this day) and unfortunately a very bad ex-marriage, but I'm just not sure where to go or what kind of help to ask for really. I need long term help and I'm desperate for it as I am getting more depressed again, and don't want to go sinking back into it. I am desperate to change. Thanks.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds like you have very good insight into your depression and are motivated to help yourself feel better. That is good news. Half the battle in recovery is the motivation to get help and to follow through. Whenever someone tells me that they want to get better, I know that they will.

 

Depression is a very difficult diagnosis to have. Part of depression is the lack of being able to help yourself. But you do sound like you are on the road to recovery. One of the best things you can do to continue to help yourself is to get a lot of support. Doing this alone is difficult at best. Therapy, support groups (in person or on line) and a good support system with family and friends is important. Here are some resources to help you get started:

 

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/

 

http://depression.supportgroups.com/

 

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

 

Once you can get an emotional support system in place, you can have places to turn to as you feel the need.

 

You can also start addressing your depression through diet and wellbeing. Exercise is helpful in lifting your mood and creating good endorphines in your body. A diet rich in nutrients helps you feel healthier and more able to handle stress. Start by making slow changes and see if it makes a difference.

 

Also, if you have not addressed the abuse you suffered as a child, you may need to see someone to help you through it. Abused children often suffer from the effects of abuse throughout life if they do not address it. Shame, depression, anxiety and anger are very common effects of childhood abuse. Here is an excellent book to help you:

 

Adult Children of Abusive Parents by Steven Farmer

 

Learning as much as you can about depression makes a big difference. It sounds like you are already well into educating yourself on depression, giving you many options to pull from if you feel down. Here are some others that may help:

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_women.htm

 

The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness by XXXXX XXXXX, XXXXX Teasdale, Zindel Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You by Richard O'Connor

 

You can find these books through Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

 

The more you search and try to educate yourself, the more chances you will have to find that eureka moment. It just takes persistence, which you seem to have already.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks Kate,

that's a terrific reply. It has everything I wanted to hear - except that I think a part of my issues seem to go more complicated than just depression. I'm wondering if there's any way we could set up a chat session at all, or if I can ask you another question?
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

You're welcome! I am glad I could help. You can ask me another question anytime. If you choose to start a new question, just put my name in front of the question so other experts know to leave the question for me.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks again Kate. I've started another question which really has 2 in it which I hope you don't mind at all... I don't mind if you want to break it up into 2 answers, but I'm really just looking for some feedback on some issues I'm dealing with. I find it hard to deal with some emotions - like anger, hatred and so on, so with these particular things although I can see a positive way forward - a bit like with leaving my ex-husband - I'm having a hard time letting go of my fear and drummed into me ideals that I have. I just don't have anyone to talk to, so I just really hope you don't mind my asking again. And if you do, I don't mind if you throw it to anyone else ok!
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Any way you would like to work it is ok with me. Whatever is easier on you. I don't mind at all! I look forward to talking with you and helping you with the issues you mentioned.

 

I am available to work with you as long as you need to. Just let me know what you decide and we'll go from there.

 

Kate

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