Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you have suffered a lot of loss in your life. Then you decide to give yourself over to this relationship and you are betrayed in your relationship not only by your partner but by his family. On top of that, your partner is putting his family before you and your needs.
You can help yourself by starting to put yourself first. Your partner is not able to do this for some reason so you need to do it for yourself. You also need to mourn. The loss of your relationship, your grandmother, the rape you experienced and other losses all can add up and become overwhelming. Taking time to mourn and allow yourself to feel the loss and work through it will help you feel better and more able to handle other things.
Here are some resources to help you:
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Peter McXXXXX, XXXXX H. Bloomfield and Melba Colgrove
Recovering from Losses in Life, H. Norman Wright
From Grief to Grace: Images for Overcoming Sadness and Loss (Grief Resources) by Helen Reichert Lambin
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
Let me know if I can help any further,