Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like their may be a combination of an overwhelming amount of stress in both your lives and a difficulty with communication. You say you like things to be detailed and meticulous and your husband takes his time and think things through. This gives me the hint that the two of you may have some differences in how you see things. These differences can create conflict and cause the two of you to take your stress out on each other through dysfunctional behavior. Working out those differences through better communication would help bridge the gap between you and create a stronger marriage.
One of the best ways you can achieve this is through marriage counseling. There are many options including seeing a marriage counselor, talking with your pastor, if you attend church, or through self help and group work. Here are some resources to help you:
Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict by Jonathan Robinson
We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage (Perigee) by C. Notarius and Howard Markman
The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate by Emerson Eggerichs
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
Let me know if I can help any further,