Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.
It is very unusual that he feels so emotionally distant from you and you feel like everything is all right. Is it true that you have felt the marriage has been wonderful and satisfying till now?
If not, what did you identify as the problems?
Has he shared with you why he feels you don't give him a listening ear?
Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.
I will most likely log off for the night before you reply, but go ahead and reply to these questions and I’ll answer as soon as I log on tomorrow. Okay?
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like their may be a combination of an overwhelming amount of stress in both your lives and a difficulty with communication. You say you like things to be detailed and meticulous and your husband takes his time and think things through. This gives me the hint that the two of you may have some differences in how you see things. These differences can create conflict and cause the two of you to take your stress out on each other through dysfunctional behavior. Working out those differences through better communication would help bridge the gap between you and create a stronger marriage.
One of the best ways you can achieve this is through marriage counseling. There are many options including seeing a marriage counselor, talking with your pastor, if you attend church, or through self help and group work. Here are some resources to help you:
Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict by Jonathan Robinson
We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage (Perigee) by C. Notarius and Howard Markman
The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate by Emerson Eggerichs
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
Let me know if I can help any further,Kate
I am not satisfied with your view only. Is there not another expert that can give me a view. I am also sitting with my husband this Saturday to understand what his view point is and I will then share it with you to give you a better understanding from his side.He is away currently and this may be an opportunity for him to reflect and share frustrations that I may be not aware of. Is it possible to hold until then as I really need sound expert direction/advice on the way forward.
If you are not happy with my response, that is not a problem. I will opt out so another expert can assist you.