How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Olsen Your Own Question

Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Olsen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband is so rude and mean to me. I feel like walking

Resolved Question:

My husband is so rude and mean to me. I feel like walking out on the marriage. I'm not sure what to do. 
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hello,
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
Are you open to marriage therapy again?
Is there a specific question I can assist you with?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
You are not charged until you receive a satisfying answer.
Please also allow a few hours for me to get back to you.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Dr. Olsen,

 

My intial response was a little vague. I am open to marriage counseling again, however, it does seem futile when my husband lied to the therapist during meetings and continued to be the same person after. Basically, we have a few "normal" problems. He lies to me about money, which has changed some, but not enteriley. He likes to buy things for himself without consulting me and it ends up leaving our bank account in the negative or worse bills not being paid. He has gotten better about this, but just last night I discovered he had spent 100 on something but he failed to tell me , I didn't bother asking.

 

That problem has been going on for years, basically since I've known him. The other thing that is so hard to put up with is his attitude. He seems so angry and distant lately. He's always been rough around the edges, but this is getting ridiculous. He constantly critizes myself, and our children. The poor kids walk around not knowing which side is up because he'll snap at them for the littlest thing. We have four children who range from 10-2 yrs old. He is never physically abusive just rude to them and belittling when he doesn't feel happy.

 

I'm so fed up I don't even want to talk to him anymore. I love him dearly and believe in "forever after" but at some point I have to wonder if he's not happy due to me and that's why he continues to berate me and our children.

 

Please help.

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for your response.
I am sorry to hear about your husband's situation.
It sounds like your husband is disrespectful, rude, and mean to you. His behavior seems immature and self-centered.
Perhaps, he may feel entitled to behave this way as he has not changed the behavior much after attending marriage counseling.
He may have mild depression and self-esteem issues as he is angry and moody around you and your kids. I also wonder if he actually may be needy emotionally as he criticizes you often.
Did you notice his behavior before you and he got married?
If so, his behavior may have to do with his temperament and emotional maturity issues.
In any case, you may need to remind him of your needs and wants and communicate your feelings with him.
Marriage therapy may be an option again unless he listens to your feelings and makes efforts to change his negative behavior around you.

Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,


Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience: PsyD Psychologist
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I think he was like that before marriage it has just gotten worse as time goes on. He has to be emotionally needy when he does something new or even small things it's like he's a small child saying "look, look" or for example when he get's dressed for something (work, date, ect.) he wants my approval of his outfit, hair, shoes, you name it, even sunglasses. I wouldn't mind this at all, but he gives me generic comments like that's fine or it's fine just like the last time I told you.

 

Marriage counseling may be our only hope. I'm just not sure. Is this something he could grow out of with age? He's 28 now and we've been together 8 years. I'm 27.

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like your husband may be emotionally needy and actually want your attention from you. Perhaps, he could be moody and a little angry when he can't get attention, praise and/or approval from you. Is he competitive towards his kids? He may not like divided attention from you at times as you two have four children.
He might grow up emotionally over time, though he may need to listen to his wife's concern and feelings and make efforts to correct some of his negative behavior.
He may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist for 3-6 months.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
thank you for your time and patience. Hopefully, I can resolve this issue and enjoy my marriage.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there
Any question?
Are you satisfied with my answer?
If satisfied, please click the green accept button for my work.
Thank you!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education