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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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NYMPHOMANIA CAN BE A CONSEQUENCES FOR A WOMAN OF A CHILD ABUSE

Resolved Question:

NYMPHOMANIA CAN BE A CONSEQUENCES FOR A WOMAN OF A CHILD ABUSE SHE SUFFERED WHEN SHE WAS KID??? AND IN CASE OF A CHILD ABUSE SITUATION FOR A WOMAN IS SHE WILL HAVE PERSONALITY DISORDER AS BIPOLARITY OR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, OR HAVING DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN A STABLE RELATIONSHIP???
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Nymphomania, also called hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior, can have many causes. An overabundance of hormones, diseases such as MS or epilepsy, and changes in the brain can all cause nymphomania. Although childhood sexual abuse can contribute to nymphomania, it is not a common cause.

 

When a female child is sexually abused, it can cause her to see sex outside the norm. A lot of prostitutes have been abused either sexually or in other forms. And some women respond by withdrawing from sex and developing an aversion. Each person reacts differently because each finds a way to cope. While it is not common, nymphomania is possible.

 

Many adults abused as children develop personality disorders as a result. As children, they cannot face the abuse so they develop ways to cope including being manipulative, hurting themselves and acting out with others. Many people diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder have been abused as children.

 

Abused children also have problems forming healthy relationships. If all they have known is abuse and never saw healthy interactions between adults, they have no idea what healthy looks like. They only know that adults hurt each other and children. They understand anger, hurt and pain.

 

Here are some resources to help you:

 

Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused by Steven Farmer

 

An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal' by John C. Friel Ph.D. and Linda D. Friel M.A.

 

The Courage to Heal 4e: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 20th Anniversary Edition by Ellen Bass and XXXXX XXXXX

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
The reason i ma asking those question is because i got a bad experiences with my ex girlfriend and I fell twice or more in her mental disorder i think...I met her 4 years ago I have been for almost 2 years together and when I met her she was separated for a 1 year and seeing another guy...then she broke up with him after she was seeing me and we stayed for almost 2 years as I said...during those 2 years was up and down. She was for a period of time with me loving me care for me and after some months was not sure and she was looking for the man of her life and go on so at the end she broke up with me and return with her ex husband(reason moneys and so family. When we broke up she put in bad situation by giving me an Restraining order and we end up to find a private agreement for one year...after 5 months or so we start on June 2009 to be in contact again don't caring at all about the year agreement of not to be in contact at all...and after by the end of September we start the relationship involving sex again while her ex husband was living with her until end of February when he left her home...In all those months she wrote me, demonstrating and saying me in any form how she was loving me, that i was the man of her life the one and that by staying faraway from me she realized this and willing to live with me for the remaining of days ahead. She wrote me things that even Juliette wrote to Romeo. It was hard to trust but I did due to the my strong love for her and form March we start the regular relationship even I was not going yet in her home when kids were with her.In the middle of this past June she start to change and and being as 2 years ago all suddenly form the big love I was for her I became again the guy that is suffocating her, she want more space for herself and i thought was another guy and i asked her and she was saying no absolutely...The night of June 17 she came over for a dinner to tell me that want to be alone and being friend with me and then the night after she made love with me by woke me up during the night( considering that when we went to bed she felt like to make love hardly but she didn't let get inside her) and in the morning she felt regret even though she was liking because I asked ironically what happened during the night and she answer me very upset that what was important was that we enjoyed. She passed the day without me going i don't know where but I ma sure today with somebody( Anyway we planned a trip of one week to Cancun and she didn't want to go anymore in this situation). The Friday after on June 24 her kids need to go to vacation with the father for 10 days and after they left home at midnight she came over and I believing to stay with me but she came and she want to leave soon and go home to sleep and if would sleep in my home we end up to make love etc, she brushed her teeth and by hug me she was feeling horny and attract by me but she told me that sometimes she was thinking that I was the one but she want to know more people and bla bla...When she left I suspected something and after 20 minutes I went to her home...I found another man in a car waiting for her outside while she was inside.

Wow imagine how I was!!!! Anyway we talked after this man left because we had discussion and me and her talked for an hour in her home and she was saying that was 5 times seeing her and for sure she had sex with him already and she tolda me that she wanna to go out with many more , that for finding the man or her life she have to kiss many D....( crazy said by a woman, a professional of 41 years old, she is dentist). I asked that besides money problems( and was offer her money as well to see her reaction) if was sex the issue and even though are sex situation was good I asked if she wants make love with more than one ...she smiled at me and softly she asked me if I was serious and very mild told me that i was offending her. But a serious person would be so mad at me after a request like this instead she was like available or so.
Anyway we fought and my mistakes because i was mad i send her more than 50 offensive text messages at her cell and she end up to give me another restraining order.
I didn't tell you that she have been abuse by an uncle when she was 12 something like that.
What do you think??? Give me please your opinion after having read this latino soap-opera lol.

Thanks,

G.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Thanks for the additional information.

 

It sounds like she does have some sort of sexual addiction. Having multiple partners, especially in one night, is out of the norm and says that there is an issue with her. It may or may not have come from being sexually abused. It is hard to tell without seeing her in person for an evaluation.

 

She would benefit from therapy, if she was willing to get it. Also, it might be a good idea if both of you see someone together if you are still interested in having a relationship with her. It would be a long road, but she could recover if she is willing to work on it.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Not better stay away ...but she had a therapy to a psychologist for 2 years already.
I went to her twice to talk about the fact that was not trust between but i dropped because her therapist look was more her attorney that a therapist willing to find us a common ground

She was attracted by me that Friday night but she had already another man and when she was hug me she was feeling very exited but didn't want to be kissed...

She behave like that three time with me and i have been stupid to accept this.
I think that besides a kind of sexual addiction she has a kind borderline personality disorder because is not possible that she was write and telling me very lovely things and in one week i was nobody for her, and this happened exactly a year ago and she made the same with her husband and come back to me. She doesn't know what she want and this since a lot years and she is not capable to maintain a stable relationship look like ...as a soon she see all perfect she get boring maybe because she doesn't have anymore challenges maybe i don't know.

She did always the same thing and i let you notice that she doesn't know stay alone she leave somebody or think to leave somebody only if she has somebody else available. She want me there anyway because if something was going wrong with this new man she had me always available this the reason she want to be only friend, from being the MAN for her she want me became the best friend. hahhah...

The Saturday 17 I was in her bed , after 10 days another man was in the same bed....I might be conservative but this is normal???
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

No, it is not normal behavior. She has a sexual addiction and a severe fear of being alone. If she is not willing follow through with therapy, then the odds of her stopping this behavior and seeing it is hurtful to herself and others is probably not very high.

 

It is in your best interest to end this relationship with her. Along with being psychologically difficult to deal with, she may also be transferring sexually transmitted diseases to you. This is not a healthy relationship, physically or emotionally.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Of course I will even if i am hurting a lot and besides be cheated I got and dealing with a second restraining order coming from her .... I am worry that she probably will come back and cry with me in some months ahead...

Do you think will be possible since she did it already twice during this time together?

She is not like you believe but she has a very sex driven as me but she is a woman and sometimes I think woman have to be more careful about how manage herself but maybe you cannot be agree with that and this may come from my mentality a little conservative in some topics.

But for sure she Has a personality dysfunctional starting realtionship and have tendency to cheat all the time living in a continuous lie.

Thank you.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

You're very welcome!

 

I think that is it very possible that this girl will keep coming back to you. It sounds very much like she may have had a very dysfunctional relationship with many males in her background, not just one. She is very confused and very impulsive about her needs. She seems not to understand how to get them met in a normal way at all. So basically, what you have seen her do so far in terms of her behavior, you will keep seeing. She seems to have no desire to change.

 

Yes, I agree with you about the difference between men and women in our society. It seems that women are held to a different standard. This can be good, and it can be bad, depending on the situation.

 

It would be helpful to you if while moving on from this relationship, that you allowed yourself to mourn the loss. Any relationship, good or bad, is a loss when it ends. Also, getting help from a therapist would help you seek healthier relationships and help you learn more about yourself in the meanwhile. Everyone deserves to be in a good relationship that is strong and healthy.

 

Here is a book that may help you:

 

Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships by David Hawkins

 

It is available on Amazon.com or your local library may have a copy for you.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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