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Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like your boyfriend has been deeply hurt in the past. He has learned to deal with his feelings by trying to control the person he is with- you. When he feels there is a danger of him getting hurt or he feels that he is not in control, he gives you the cold shoulder. It is his way of keeping you at an emotional distance and making you feel bad so he doesn't have to. After all, he is shut off and refusing to share himself. So he can't get hurt.
This also ties in with him being narcissistic and passive aggressive. Narcissistic people see themselves as more important than others and they feel the need to be in control and the center of attention. Passive aggressive behavior is when someone feels one thing then shows the opposite to others. For example, someone may say they really like someone then purposely ignore them, much like your boyfriend does. It is based on anger.
Although there is not much you can do to change someone's behavior, you can change how you react to them.
First, learn as much as you can about these personality disorders. The more you know, the better you can recognize when you are dealing with them. Then you can react to protect yourself.
Second, put limits on your boyfriend's behavior. For example, if he decides to give you the cold shoulder, don't keep asking him what is wrong or trying to get his attention. Tell him that you recognize his behavior and that you will be busy and unavailable until he is done acting this way. Then keep yourself busy. Go out with friends, increase your activities, see family, etc. The less you react, the less charge and reward he gets out of treating you that way.
Third, suggest he see a therapist. He may not appreciate that you are trying to help him. Narcissists usually feel there is nothing wrong with them. But it worth the try. And if he won't go, you may want to go yourself. It will help you deal with the stress.
Here are some resources to help you:
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor D. Payson
The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists by Rokelle Lerner
Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom by Scott Wetzler
You can find these books at Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
I hope this helps,