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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5762
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am a senior therapist and think my new husband is aspergers.

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I am a senior psyvhotherapist and think my new (5 yrs)husband is aspergers. I find this very difficult especially because of the sort of person I am and the work I do. Is there much likelihood that I could ever be happy with such a man?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


How happy you can be with your husband depends on how much adjustment you are willing to make to cope with his symptoms. It does mean sacrifice on your part, but it is all about how you feel about your relationship.


There are some things that can help. I see that you have already tried therapy, which we both know is important. Has your husband had an evaluation to be sure of his diagnosis? That would be a good step to take if he has not. Once you are sure of his diagnosis (or if you already are sure), then learning all you can about Aspergers and how it makes the brain work would give you both a good understanding about why he does what he does. It is also important that he understand his diagnosis so he understands how his behavior affects you and others. Once he can grasp that he responds differently than others, he may be able to gain enough insight into his problem to compensate. So instead of blurting out a thought without understanding the consequence, he may be able to catch himself and either not do it, or realize he did it and make steps to correct it.


Here are some resources that may help:


The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood


Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers by John Elder Robison


The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A guide to an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who has Asperger Syndrome by Maxine C. Aston


You can find these books on or your local library may have them for you.


Whatever you decide, be sure to spend extra time taking care of yourself. Living with someone who has a disability is very stressful and making sure you care for yourself is important. Don't allow guilt to keep you from being good to yourself.


Let me know if I can help any further,


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