Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you and your husband are very good friends. And it sounds like there is trust between you. Those are two of the most important traits for a good marriage. However, it also seems that the love and passion has gone out of your relationship and you have become comfortable with each other instead.
How you approach this depends very much on how you feel about it. Do you want more passion and closeness between you and your husband? If so, there are ways to rekindle those feelings and have a great marriage. Here are some ideas to help you:
Try putting your husband first- do nice things for him that he loves. Buy something you think he'd like or go out to a favorite place. Do an activity he likes for a day. This will make him feel special and see you in a new light.
Have a date night- pick a night each week and make it special. Dress up and go to a restaurant or go play miniature golf. Make sure it's something you both can look forward to.
Laugh together- watch a funny movie, tell each other jokes or see a comedy show. Laughing helps you bond and gives you great memories to talk about.
Plan a getaway- a change of scenery can help you feel you are sharing something special and help you both have the time to focus on each other.
Talk about how you fell in love- what was so special about him that made you want to be with him? How did your husband decide he loved you? Talk about what got you both together and what you loved about each other.
If you find that these suggestions do not work, try seeing a therapist. Short term counseling can help you both focus on what the issue is and resolve it.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
I haven't heard from you. Did you have more questions or want clarification?
There are many ways to get the spark back into your marriage. Here are some resources to help you:
How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life by Ariel and Shya Kane
Spark, The: Igniting the Passion, Mystery, and Romance in Your Marriage by Jay Laffoon and Laura Laffoon
Ferocious Flirting: Making Marriage Wonderful by Matthew O. Smith
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
Also, be careful of any problems that stand in your way. Are there any resentments, anger or other issues? These can interfere in your ability to feel love and attraction to your husband and you may not be aware of it. Once you can address them, you can rekindle those feelings again.
There is a way to address issues and still be supportive. If you address the issues with the view that you love him and he loves you, then the steps you take are done out of care and concern for each other. That's why it's often helpful to have a third party to help you, a pastor, therapist or even a mutual friend you can trust. But if that is not possible, then using your friendship as a basis for recovery is the next best thing.
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