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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Yes it has come to my attention that this woman(J) is not just

Customer Question

Yes it has come to my attention that this woman(J) is not just having an affair of sorts with her 16 year old room mate(A) but she is also playing horrendous mind games such as making him(A) think for quite sometime that she is also having an affair with my son(D)-she rolls over in bed and told (A) she was going to be texting my son(D). This I can assure you is not true.
Welfare have been to see her and she has jumped through all their hoops.
The thing is I do believe the kids. A mutual friend of my (D) and (A) asked me and my son separately was D having an affair with J and repeated what (A) had said. A has stopped speaking to D formerly great mates, because he thinks things that are not true and for an adult let alone a child he is probably beside himself confused obsessed you can imagine. No doubt this child of 16 is going to need counseling or de brainwashing.
There is more going on I'm sure but I don't know. I have kept her close to me whereas people are in two camps the for *(J) and the against (J).
They are like bulls in a china shop; she scares me because she has some type of Narcissistic Pathos.
I have tried to say to the for (J) people Mrs Robinson needs to lose the kid(A) or lose her children for J's benefit. Yes I am playing a slippery slope and I'm still her friend e.g. keep your friends close and enemies closer. I have not told anyone because they will come at J head on and the result will be lose lose. A is isolated and in the hands of someone who is mentally ill. Welfare have left now and with it the opportunity to get A out of the home. They weren't investigating the right thing. They were their because she was being accused of giving meds to kids and what type of parent she was and where A was staying whilst in her care. How do I help get him out of the house and back with his family and into counseling.
Understand that she does appear perfectly fine and everyone around her is nuts. For this reason and others I have kept silent finding out as much as I can. I have had enough I am out of my depth and I want to get a 16 year old boy out of an environment that he wants to stay even though I'm sure he doesn't know which end is up.
This is the kind of control J has so the sooner I can act the better. I'm asking what do I do.
I have contacted a friend who works in sociology and she agrees it's dangerous and may know someone but it has to be done quickly without anyone knowing what's going on keeping in mind she has been investigated but for the wrong thing. These type o;f people are very difficult to see unless you know what to look for. What can I do?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, it's good to hear from you again!

 

Thank you very much for requesting my help. I have a couple of appointments I have to attend to this morning then I will be able to reply to you. I want to give your question the attention it deserves. I am sorry for the delay, and if you need your question answered right away by another expert, I understand.

 

I will get back to you as soon as possible.

 

Thanks again,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5458
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for your patience with me getting back to you.

 

Yes, I agree that this woman has some type of personality disorder. She definitely is manipulative. To be able to convince those around her that she is charming and well put together shows she has issues.

 

It sounds like J has been in trouble with the welfare system but either no one there knows she is sexually assaulting a minor or they can't prove it. If they are not aware of it, would you be comfortable reporting it? I know you mentioned you spoke to the social worker you know but an official report may help even more. You can document what you know and provide dates and times. Write down what is told to you either by J or A or even your son. If you provide details, the police or welfare may pay closer attention. But do not put yourself in danger. If you feel it is too unsafe, then stick to what you are doing.

 

Can anyone else help you? Has anyone seen the behavior? The more people that report what is going on, the more credibility the report has.

 

Have you consider involving the police? It may be a bit drastic, but sometimes they operate at a different level than a social services agency might. They may be mandated to investigate immediately as opposed to waiting like welfare.

 

You can also ask for advice from the police if they cannot act on your report. They may be able to help you figure out how to report J or get enough good evidence to prove she is abusing A.

 

Beyond that, you can also make your home a safe place for A, if he is willing and open to something like that. Let him know that what is going on his wrong and that he can come to you anytime. If he is ever willing to report what is happening, then you will have a solid case against her.

 

Let me know if I can help any further,
Kate

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