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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have an intense mental anguish pain/hurt mixed with intense

Resolved Question:

I have an intense mental anguish pain/hurt mixed with intense anger when people give me dirty looks or look at me strangely. What is this?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds like you may either have a self esteem issue or you may have a deeper problem such as a personality issue.

 

With self esteem issues, people usually learn somewhere in their lives, usually childhood, that they are not as valuable as others. They feel like their thoughts and feelings are less important and that they are not as worthy as others are. Someone with low self esteem is going to feel that when others look at them, they are seeing someone who should be ashamed of who they are. Because a person with low self esteem is focused on how unworthy they feel, they may think others are focused on it as well. So when someone looks at you, you may interpret it as that person dislikes you and sees you how you see yourself. That would cause you to interpret their looking at you strangely or giving you dirty looks. And even if they do look at you that way, you will have a hard time seeing their behavior as a problem for them, not you.

 

If you feel you have a deeper issue, you may want to consider being seen for an evaluation by a qualified therapist. Anyone who has a Master's degree or Ph.D. in counseling or psychology should be able to help you find out what is going on. They can do a full evaluation, determine your diagnosis, and offer the appropriate treatment. Here is a link to help you find a therapist:

 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yea i understand. A dirty look for me is like a bullet going through me i take it as a personal attack. and i feel like i get alot of strange looks when im out, i also begin to give dirty looks and be really nasty to people after i see people looking at me weird. I will do this to innocent people who had nothing to do with looking at me strange. I have even went as far as calling fat people fat and calling people ugly, i get really nasty and it feels good to hurt people it feels like the only healthy way out of my intense pain. As you could tell my problems deal around people. I feel abused and mistreated by people and this leaves me feeling this way
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Thanks for the additional information.

 

In that case, you may want to consider an evaluation by a therapist. If you are feeling so strongly about being hurt by others that you are defending yourself by attacking others first, then there may be a deeper issue going on than just self esteem. A therapist can help you find out what the issue is and help you resolve it. You should not have to live in a constant state of feeling abused and mistreated.

 

In the meanwhile, try working on how you feel through self help. Here are some suggestions for you:

 

The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

 

Anger Kills: Seventeen Strategies for Controlling the Hostility That Can Harm Your Health by Redford Williams

 

Overcoming Hurts And Anger: Finding Freedom from Negative Emotions by Dwight L. Carlson

 

Kate

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

I haven't heard from you. Did you have more questions or want clarification?

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.