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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My 17-yr-old daughter has not respected me in a very long time.

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My 17-yr-old daughter has not respected me in a very long time. She tells me I am not and have never been a mother to her. Her dad and i have been apart for 3 yrs. Her dad couldn't afford to support her, so she came with me, kicking and screaming all the way. She has resented living with me ever since she has been here. I am trying to restore my own self esteem. It was ripped to shreds in my marriage. Every time she starts in on how bad of a mom I was and I still am, I feel I lose a lot of traction.
I have had it with her insults and degredation. I told her she has to live with her dad. I feel very relieved. Did I do the right thing?

Today my daughter once again disrepected me in the most hurtful way.

You certainly should do what you feel is best. The source of her anger needs to be addressed at some point but right now she needs to understand that her words have repercussions. This is an important lesson to learn before she enters the work world. When she is receptive to addressing her anger you can then find out what these feelings are and why. Let her go with dad - he is a parent as you are. When she is more willing to look at why she feels this way talk about the reasons.

 

For now develop strong boundaries with her and let her know that you will not tolerate inappropriate behavior. Leave her with the invitation to discuss this as a family. Then she knows you are not abandoning her. You have to set limits whether 17 or 13. She will respect you for it later.

Going to bed now. Sorry

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