Hello, I am here for you and am happy to respond. Well good for you for recognizing that "doing" cannot make your underlying feelings just go away! You probably are a bit depressed as we say that "what is not expressed is supressed and we become depressed." I believe the thing for you to do is to find a psychotherapist who can help you deal with your unresolved feelings for your ex-husband. You may go to www.americanpsychotherapy.com to search for therapists where you live. Does this answer your question, dear?
I went to therapy when I first got divorced. Not sure if this will help.
I certainly understand your reluctance, but that was a long time ago. At that time you dealt with one phase of your grief over your marriage ending, but as you are still having feelings for your ex, there is more grieving to do. Divorce and the loss of a mate is a loss to grieve, it is a death of part of our life and our hopes for the future we dreamed of with that person. The stages of grief are, shock, denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. If you will deal with your sadness in therapy you will move through the depression and be able to finally accept the loss of your husband. Does this make sense to you, dear?
I feel stupid not being able to have gotten past this. But I will try. thank you