How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Ask Eleanor Your Own Question
Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
57558633
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Ask Eleanor is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Not over divorce

Resolved Question:

I've been divorced for 15 years and I still can't seem to get over my ex. I have progressed in my career and most of my friends think that I have gotten over it, but the truth is I haven't. What do I do now? If I take one more class or give any more to my community I will scream. Am I depressed?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 5 years ago.

Ask Eleanor :

Hello, I am here for you and am happy to respond. Well good for you for recognizing that "doing" cannot make your underlying feelings just go away! You probably are a bit depressed as we say that "what is not expressed is supressed and we become depressed." I believe the thing for you to do is to find a psychotherapist who can help you deal with your unresolved feelings for your ex-husband. You may go to www.americanpsychotherapy.com to search for therapists where you live. Does this answer your question, dear?

Customer:

I went to therapy when I first got divorced. Not sure if this will help.

Ask Eleanor :

I certainly understand your reluctance, but that was a long time ago. At that time you dealt with one phase of your grief over your marriage ending, but as you are still having feelings for your ex, there is more grieving to do. Divorce and the loss of a mate is a loss to grieve, it is a death of part of our life and our hopes for the future we dreamed of with that person. The stages of grief are, shock, denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. If you will deal with your sadness in therapy you will move through the depression and be able to finally accept the loss of your husband. Does this make sense to you, dear?

Customer:

I feel stupid not being able to have gotten past this. But I will try. thank you

Ask Eleanor and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions