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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4486
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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I am 45 and marrying my 60 year old partner this month. We

Customer Question

I am 45 and marrying my 60 year old partner this month. We have been together nearly 2 years, and he has never managed an erection whilst inside me. He can usually ejaculate if I stimulate him manually, but loses his erection as soon as he tries penetration. His GP gave him viagra, but it didnt work. He smokes, and was a very heavy drinker until 4 years ago and has not used alcohol since.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 5 years ago.

Dr. Kaushik :

Hi there,

Dr. Kaushik :

Welcome to Just answer !

Dr. Kaushik :

Well, i would want to ask you a few questions..

Dr. Kaushik :

is he able to sustain erection at the time of masturbation or does he loose erection during that also ?

Dr. Kaushik :

is he a diabetic , a smoker ?

Dr. Kaushik :

does he have any heart condition?

Dr. Kaushik :

does he have any kidney problem?

Dr. Kaushik :

is he on any drugs, if yes kindly mention them..

Dr. Kaushik :

did he have any spinal injuries or brain injuries ?

Dr. Kaushik :

kindly answer to my queries...

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

yes he can sustain erection during masturbation, he is a smoker but not diabetic, no known heart or kidney problems, not on any drugs and no spinal or brain injuries


In his previous marriage he had no difficulty with intercourse


I wait your response

Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 5 years ago.

Thanks for the reply..


Well, the fact that he can sustain erection during masturbation , it is only during intercourse that he looses erection.. besides he does not seem to have any other orgaic condition whch could make him have erectile dysfunction.. so most possibly his loss of erection during sexual intercourse is psychological in origin.. and is not organic ..


But , yes he should curb down his smoking because it is known to effect erection..


Anyways , his problem since seems to be psychological , which could be performance anxiety ( that is too much concern and preoccupation with satisfaction of partner leading to anxiety , which thereby effects erection) or psychological stress..


Anyhow , what you shall do is that you take him to a psychologist and get him evaluated for performance anxiety and psychological stress , also mentioning the problem of loss of erection , but maintenance of it while masturbation .. and upon evaluation and confirmation of his diagnosis , the psychologist shall start him on counseling such as Cognitive behavioural therapy ( CBT ) , which shall be able to deal with this problem..


Anti anxiety drug such as buspirone , may also help in easing his anxiety while intercorse , thereby sustaining his erection , but this use of drug should be left for later usage as a reserve , if CBT , does not work..


And use of viagra would be of no se in his case , because his erection problem is not organic but it is psychological in nature..


So kindly do the needful and i am hopeful that this will deal with his problem of erection..


I hope this helps..


Wish you all the best..


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