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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience:  Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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How do I overcome my fear of people I dont have very many

Resolved Question:

How do I overcome my fear of people? I don't have very many "people skills", I haven't had a job in 18 years (stay at home mom), and I feel isolated. I feel guilty about working while my kids are still living at home (son is 18, daughter is 14). People feel uncomfortable around me and me around them. Help!!
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Hello my name is XXXXX XXXXX you for bringing your concerns to Just Answer...with regards XXXXX XXXXX and anxiety's..and can truly understand just how debilitating this must be for you and feel for you much in this...

If you fear people then its more than likely because you used to fear people who look similar to these in your past. While you cant change your past you can prove to yourself that you can deal with those 'look a likes' and so your mind will realize that you could have dealt with the people in your past if you would have been given another chance.

 

Please remember though that You! are not your past! if you failed to deal with someone before then, this doesn't mean that you wont be able to deal with those who look like these people in the present.

How your mind works and your role is to consciously correct the false ways of operation that your subconscious mind has followed. Think of it as team work that happens between the conscious and the subconscious mind, one is very powerful but! it needs guidance and the other is less powerful but! it can control the first one. Learn how to master your mind and you won't fear those who are similar to those who treated you badly in the past.

The best way to do this is via Systematic Desensitization ..a pioneered, safe, treatment for fears, panic/anxiety. This technique is based on the principles of'classical Conditioning and the premise that what has been learned (conditioned) can be unlearned. Ample research shows that this is very effective in reducing anxiety and or panic attacks associated with fearful situations..

How it works is it usually starts with imagining yourself in a progression of fearful situations ( i.e people related situations ) and using relaxation strategies that compete with anxiety. Once you can successfully manage your anxiety while imagining fearful events, you can use the technique in real life situations... The goal of the process is to become gradually desensitized to the triggers that are causing your distress.

It may only take 5 or 6 sessions before you are ready to handle people/ people scenarios..or one on one on....I have also posted below for you contact websites to help you source this particular type of therapy..

 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

http://www.mindovermood.com/find_therapist.htm

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sysden.htm.....(this can also be self' administered please see this website for details and guidance)..


http://www.rethink-anxiety-disorders.com/systematic-desensitization.html..further information about SD

I do hope that my response has been of help to you...please!! be encouraged further in this, as it would be the best investment you have ever made in yourself..(as sadly many stay at home moms today, go through this very same situation)
Once you get over these debilitating fears..you won't know yourself and many doors will begin to open for you...
Take very good care of 'self' and please 'accept' my response if it has been of help ..as it contributes much ' by way of keeping this very valuable service going for you and others alike in the future...
Kind thoughts
Very best wishes
Karyn J (ProfClinicalDipCounBmin)

Karyn Jones, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1716
Experience: Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.
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Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones
1716 Satisfied Customers
Diploma of Counselling and Transactional Analysis Counselling, Lifeline counselling, Pastoral Care.