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I am totally serious. Compared to the majority of the people I see in my practice you're pretty normal. And, sexual predators sometimes appear as the label, but most of them are ordinary looking or are attractive. So, I didn't react, as your own reaction was pretty typical. Many people are shocked at the face of what sexual abnormality looks like. (Many serial killers were/are attractive people.)
It is also very normal to put your past onto your child. As long as you are self aware, that you might do this too much or too intensely, you can feel safe in your interactions with Kate. Truly, often people tell me that they use their dysfunctional parts of their past as a guideline. When they get confused they look at what the dysfunctional people in their past would do, and then do the opposite. It seems to work well for many of them. I do not think you have anything to worry about though. Your relationship with your daughter seems right on target and you seem well able to keep your own past limited/screened with her. Relax on this one. If I thought it was an issue I would tell you so directly.
Your last job: Did you take it too hard? That is a question that is not going to have an answer as "you took it as you took it." Other people are irrelevant as a comparison because they may indeed be oblivious, or have issues that do not come into play in circumstances like you went through. In any case, When you compare yourself to other people's reactions you deny the importance of what you feel. It is so true that you live a life where only you really understand it. We all are like that. Are these other people vacant, clueless or in denial?..it is possible, but then some people just do not care about work related issues.
You, on the other hand, are sensitive, attuned to the feelings of others, and gain a lot of your esteem based on your sense of personal pride and accomplishment. In this situation you were abused, hurt and even worse, you were told that you were an incompetent nurse. Now that pushed your buttons, and still does. That, for you, is true trauma as it touches your self value. For other people, that set of events would not.
Is it possible that many people wouldn't really care about the type of situation you went through? Yes. Why? Genetics, past development, being oblivious, etc. Not all of us are wired the same. You are wired as an intense person. You are driven to perform and do things on a certain higher, intense level. Many are not so wired, and probably would not understand you as much as you do not understand them. Neither is wrong, we are all just different.
Too young huh?
Offended that I am called young an innocent? No, I am neither, although I do look both.
Transvestic fetishism is not the rarity it once was. And, this did bring to mind the story of the mothers who always say to wear clean underwear if you are in an accident and have to go to the hospital....so no one will make fun of you when they cut off your clothes. Well, I doubt they were thinking of this situation when they said it. [But, not having matching clothes underneath. Yes, that is a scandal. :)]
Your hospital sounds (occasionally) like fun.
If you can keep your profile low, do so. I know you want to help Margaret, but that is definitely a risk for you and I would, at this point, caution you not to get involved. You have enough stress without adding someone else's issues to the mix. Yes, it is ageism and discrimination but she is able to defend herself, and you didn't score a 60 on the exam. She did. Sometimes it is best to simply be emotionally supportive without getting directly involved. Pick your battles carefully.
Workplace money discussions. Yes, the never ending quest for more cash. That is always workplace consistent. And, they really don't see that they make good money, a shame really. Nurses twenty years ago made spit compared to today. Keep saying what you need to say. So what if they think your crazy. At least you don't sing opera at work. Steven
Don't worry. Far worse than you have come to PA. :) I am not scared.
I did get the original intent when you said, too young for you. Don't worry. I do get your humor, I just choose to stay in my professional self 99% of the time with you. You have your nurse persona, I have my therapist one. It keeps me on target.
Lots of people wear uniforms that are slightly oversize. It helps keep you flexible and it gives and bends when you need it to. I never really got the medium size folks who insist on wearing the extra small. It just looks plain ridiculous. Looking hot by wearing too tight of a uniform.Yes, when I am dying of a stroke I want a nurse who looks hot rather than one who knows enough to block the glutamate cascade in my neurons. Not.
Margaret. I meant she is in need of help but right now you are not the one to give it. Yes, it would put you too far out, and I think you should stay as low on the radar as you can. Save advocacy for when the State issue is past and resolved. It may gall you to stay quiet on this, but that would be the best thing for you. Have fun at sesame place. Steven
Did you talk to your husband about when you felt when he turned you down?