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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steven olsen. i started anew thread to make it easier

Customer Question

hi for steven olsen. i started anew thread to make it easier on us both. what? no comment on me thinking one of the weirdos on the site was good looking? how could you let that go? i do worry that i put my worries/fears of my past on kate. i guess how could someone not? like my brother said he wanted to work for the utility that my dad worked for. my dad said no youre going to college. youre not working there. i guess its like you dont want you kids to make the same mistakes as you did? to somehow be ahead of the game?
i have another question. do you think i took what happened to me too hard at my last job? that the other people who got fired, or forced to resign, well theyre not so worried or they didnt take it as hard?
i dont know what to make of people who are like that. do they not get it?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I am totally serious. Compared to the majority of the people I see in my practice you're pretty normal. And, sexual predators sometimes appear as the label, but most of them are ordinary looking or are attractive. So, I didn't react, as your own reaction was pretty typical. Many people are shocked at the face of what sexual abnormality looks like. (Many serial killers were/are attractive people.)

 

It is also very normal to put your past onto your child. As long as you are self aware, that you might do this too much or too intensely, you can feel safe in your interactions with Kate. Truly, often people tell me that they use their dysfunctional parts of their past as a guideline. When they get confused they look at what the dysfunctional people in their past would do, and then do the opposite. It seems to work well for many of them. I do not think you have anything to worry about though. Your relationship with your daughter seems right on target and you seem well able to keep your own past limited/screened with her. Relax on this one. If I thought it was an issue I would tell you so directly.

 

Your last job: Did you take it too hard? That is a question that is not going to have an answer as "you took it as you took it." Other people are irrelevant as a comparison because they may indeed be oblivious, or have issues that do not come into play in circumstances like you went through. In any case, When you compare yourself to other people's reactions you deny the importance of what you feel. It is so true that you live a life where only you really understand it. We all are like that. Are these other people vacant, clueless or in denial?..it is possible, but then some people just do not care about work related issues.

 

You, on the other hand, are sensitive, attuned to the feelings of others, and gain a lot of your esteem based on your sense of personal pride and accomplishment. In this situation you were abused, hurt and even worse, you were told that you were an incompetent nurse. Now that pushed your buttons, and still does. That, for you, is true trauma as it touches your self value. For other people, that set of events would not.

 

Is it possible that many people wouldn't really care about the type of situation you went through? Yes. Why? Genetics, past development, being oblivious, etc. Not all of us are wired the same. You are wired as an intense person. You are driven to perform and do things on a certain higher, intense level. Many are not so wired, and probably would not understand you as much as you do not understand them. Neither is wrong, we are all just different.

 

Too young huh?

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
yes too young.... and innocent....:)
does that upset you?
we had a guy come in coding on an ambulance... so we are not gentle the er nurses... well we just cut his clothes off. well he was wearing jeans and like a short sleeve shirt. well underneath did not match what i was prepared for. he had on - wait for it a pink thong. and thigh high fishnet stockings. no bra though. i was dissapointed. and now i am new to this but not nsg, and i just was like ok. and said cut all this off. which we did. i said nothing more. we got the guy back. yeah can u believe that? no one lives thru coding... well its 50/50. so i guess hes part of the 50... and the nurses are like roaring over this pink thong thing and theyre like can u believe that? i just shrugged. it didnt really matter to me...? so they kept prompting me i finally say cuz they goaded me into it - well i mean the most shocking thing is that i mean pink? hes wearing black fishnets. its not like he had a matching bra. it shouldve been a black thong not a pink one.
the er doc was dying laughing. he goes good one. that made my day.
whats wrong with these people? i dont know this guy and its none of my business. really. im not here to judge you am i? its better for me to keep my mind neutrel on all this. it makes my job easier.
then later im working with my preceptor, shes a 15 yrs med surg nurse whos from the facility who closed by me and she got laid off. so she just came to the er this past nov. ok so we get along. they treat her badly though. shes very plucky and shes like yeah i dont worry about what other people are doing i worry about me. ok fair point. so shes actually like my height, which si kind of tall and blonde also, but she is very very over weight. and shes older than me but baby faced. well we have this old guy, and he says wow i like both of you. so i say nothing. she says really? so he says yeah you 2 are hot. she says you need to get out more...lol.
right after that opera guy comes and makes his appearance, and he drops to his knees at my feet and sings i need to take your pt to xray!!!! so i say ok opera man. and he takes my guy. ok. then i find out he only just started there at this place also. like a month before me. i said wow theyre really on a losing streak. opera guy and me geez. there are no standards.
which made the day pretty funny all in all.
on a more upsetting note, theres an older nurse named margaret. shes no lie 70. she cant do it anymore. like really cant do it. now in my head its like time to hang it up. i dont blame her. i feel freaking tired. but for whatever reason she still works. well we all had to take triage class. so youre supposed to get a 90 or more. i got an 85. but my other co horts who also recently started she said our 80s grade was fine b/c we are brand new to the er and basically we were taught the concepts in class and were tested right after. no study time. they gave scenarios n you classify the pt. so the teacher whos cool said its really good we did so well, triage is for a very experienced nurse in the er, and its not fair to take it now, but we have to b/c we will all be triaging due to other politics in the er. ok fine. she deemed us safe though. ok. well margaret the old nurse got a 60. so somehow the director of the er, heard she failed and emailed the teacher saying this is good. the one sentence. so the teacher said she thinks shes - the director - going to use this-the failing of the class - to get rid of margaret.
which upset me. you know not for nothing steven, drs will let another dr who has freaking alzheimers practice and not say anythin g not to disrespect him. but the nurses are willing to throw this nurse away. i mean cant we find soemthing different for her to do? or let her work with another nurse? you see i could argue this better if she had the mind and not the body. then i could say give her like 3 new nurses and let her like make sure all their stuff is ok, and help out like rehanging ivs or like heres this med, go give this to this pt.... do you think id be out of line to say somehting to the teacher like we have to finagle this somehow?
my husband told me to keep my mouth shut and not get involved. which i get, but maybe i could get christine the teacher who has pull there to deal with it. i will have to brainstorm more. and then it wont be coming from me. itll come from here. she also was upset about what the director said.
oh and then there was a big outcry from the nurses we need to make more money, and they asked me and i said i think we make good money. and theyre like we work too hard for this. and i said yeah i wish we worked a little less hard and made the same money, but really we make good money. and they were like really? i said yeah. pls my parents thought id be a secretary. if i was lucky. they all looked at me like i was crazy. i get that alot now...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Offended that I am called young an innocent? No, I am neither, although I do look both.

 

Transvestic fetishism is not the rarity it once was. And, this did bring to mind the story of the mothers who always say to wear clean underwear if you are in an accident and have to go to the hospital....so no one will make fun of you when they cut off your clothes. Well, I doubt they were thinking of this situation when they said it. [But, not having matching clothes underneath. Yes, that is a scandal. :)]

 

Your hospital sounds (occasionally) like fun.

 

If you can keep your profile low, do so. I know you want to help Margaret, but that is definitely a risk for you and I would, at this point, caution you not to get involved. You have enough stress without adding someone else's issues to the mix. Yes, it is ageism and discrimination but she is able to defend herself, and you didn't score a 60 on the exam. She did. Sometimes it is best to simply be emotionally supportive without getting directly involved. Pick your battles carefully.

 

Workplace money discussions. Yes, the never ending quest for more cash. That is always workplace consistent. And, they really don't see that they make good money, a shame really. Nurses twenty years ago made spit compared to today. Keep saying what you need to say. So what if they think your crazy. At least you don't sing opera at work. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
no. you are not young and innocent, i am. lol. the age thing is asking me how old i am. i said too young for you. ok maybe it was a bad joke.
the whole religious thing makes me think that youre innocent. like you know when women try to use their wiles on you, you pray and take cold showers... maybe not. i hope not... but of course, you can do what you please.
the thought of what underwear you should be wearing just in case!!! did come to my mind when i saw that. then again we were defibrillating so most of my mind was paying attention to not be touching soemthing and getting shocked.
it is just a thong. but the er doc seemed a little off put. it was the same one i said mustve gotten burned. he also admitted a lady who had no ekg changes and no cardiac enzyme changes. i said why? he said just in case. sigh.
opera guy asked me why my uniform is so loose. i told him they didnt have my size and i had to size up. thats not true, but it came out of my mouth and i wasnt changing it then. why are people so focused on other people? whats the difference? i dont wnat to split my pants at work. thx. like really. i do see nurses with skin tight uniform pants and i wonder. ok they either look hot (theyre wearinjg xs instead of small.) or these chicks are wearing 2x and they should be wearing a 3x. so that could go either way really.
i cant help margaret b/c it will put me too far out there? or b/c you think margaret is too old an cant cut it and ill be fighting a losing battle? i wasnt going to go out, i was going to have the teracher do it, but i was going to plea my case to her a little. of course i couldnt force her, but i think shes like me.
actually she reminds me alot of me. very out loud and knows that and has a good time and is good at what she does.
ps i am packing and cleaning and getting ready to go to sesame place. you better leave pennsylvania....
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh another little thing my husband turned me down for sex. yes. really. i was so upset.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Don't worry. Far worse than you have come to PA. :) I am not scared.

 

I did get the original intent when you said, too young for you. Don't worry. I do get your humor, I just choose to stay in my professional self 99% of the time with you. You have your nurse persona, I have my therapist one. It keeps me on target.

 

Lots of people wear uniforms that are slightly oversize. It helps keep you flexible and it gives and bends when you need it to. I never really got the medium size folks who insist on wearing the extra small. It just looks plain ridiculous. Looking hot by wearing too tight of a uniform.Yes, when I am dying of a stroke I want a nurse who looks hot rather than one who knows enough to block the glutamate cascade in my neurons. Not.

 

Margaret. I meant she is in need of help but right now you are not the one to give it. Yes, it would put you too far out, and I think you should stay as low on the radar as you can. Save advocacy for when the State issue is past and resolved. It may gall you to stay quiet on this, but that would be the best thing for you. Have fun at sesame place. Steven

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Did you talk to your husband about when you felt when he turned you down?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
you should be scared about us coming to pa. i knwo you wont be coming to sesame place this weekend. lol.
oh, afraid to go over the line steven? why not just ignore the comment than rather answer it like you mistook it?
you see youre thinking with your brain when you say oh when im stroking out id rather have a nurse who could bend. hm. you may say, well im gonna freaking die i might as well enjoy the view. worse things could happen. or you could have a nurse whos wearing a tight uniform and and knows how to save your life. hey it could happen... :)
you better hope margarets not your nurse though. crap. shes old and not sure how to save your life... woops.
maybe i should keep my mouth shut. i noticed alot of the nurses at this er are very pretty. heavy competition. it was a leper colony where i used to work.
i didnt talk to him. he fell asleep. then he left this am and we didnt talk. i pretended to be asleep while he was getting dressed.
nowi have to think about how i will punish him.
it maybe a very hot month of july for poor rob.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh i didnt notice the 99% of the time comment that you said there. so when is the other 1% of the time youre not on target?

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