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Thanks for contacting Just Answer. Let me see if I can help here...
You are right on track to search for a place that has horses. Unfortunately I don't think such a place exists.
I not aware of all the treatment facilities in the U. S. but I'm aware of many of them and I have often thought this would be a good idea, but my research has not revealed any place like this.
I found some in California and Minnesota, but not any on the East Coast. I also read that moving away from the place of trauma doesn't help, but perhaps going away for treatment will? Her brother is in college in Phoenix and there is a place called "The Meadows" an hour away.
I believe this is a good idea because it works with other issues.
"The Meadows" integrates equine therapy with addiction counseling.
How important is it that her family is nearby and available?
To be perfectly honest (and thanks for the info by the way :) I think sending her to the Meadows may be your best bet - having family close has as many disadvantages as advantages..
I was thinking that she may be more open to revealing her issues if we are not there, yet she has her brother close by if she needs him. And she knows I would fly out in a heartbeat if she needs me.
Can you tell me the disadvantages of having family close by?
In my experience, she will have to change and the family will also have to change some your behaviors....Having the family close by can sometimes lead to the person leaving - because it's easier - and if the family is close by, they sometimes have a tendency to "rescue" her
Do you follow what I mean?
Yes I do. Mine is a complicated situation, as I'm sure many are. I've divorced her Dad, but not early enough to save my kids the trauma of his abuse I'm afraid. It's difficult watching her struggle now as a young adult (she's 21) and choosing to rely on alcohol to deal with her trauma. I guess my biggest decision is to either send her far away so she can be alone, or send her someplace close so I can involve the rest of her siblings, and myself, if needed. We are a very loving and supportive family now that her Dad is out of the picture, but the past has many monsters.
Obviously, this is not a good situation that you are in, but I'll be honest with you, it sounds like you have a good situation in terms of her treatment - you are very wise to use the equine therapy especially since she grew up with horses and having some family near, but not "too near" is a good situation :)
Great thanks. I appreciate your help.
You can send her away and the rest of the family can engage in making changes - it doesn't have to be either or...
Thanks. XXXXX have helped please don't forget to click on the accept button so I can get paid for my work..
I see, but the changes needed won't happen without therapy for the rest of my children, as well. They refuse to even acknowledge the abuse, and won't speak of it even with each other, I think out of fear of their father's many threats to harm their animals or their Mom. So, the change will have to come one by one, and since she is the first, perhaps she'll blaze the way for the rest.
I must commend you for taking this on. Your story sounds so much like others I have dealt with, so even though we've only just chatted online here I can imagine the "monsters" you have had to slay so far.... and given that, I have every reason to believe that you will continue to move forward even though it's challenging. Your kids are so fortunate to have you.... believe me!
If it takes a lifetime to get them help, well I still have alot of years left :) Thank you for your help. And pray for my family, we need a breakthrough or the trauma of the past will continue to eat away at their peace.