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AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 197
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I have a business partner who lies to me on a consistent basis,

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I have a business partner who lies to me on a consistent basis, and when I call him on it, he says that he does it because if he tells me the truth, I will tell him 'that I will believe it when I see it', ie, that I don't believe anything that he says. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 5 years ago.

AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer

AgapeDoc :

Let's see if I can help in your situation....

AgapeDoc :

I'm sorry you are in this tough situation. Let me just start by saying that business relationships are not unlike other relationships in that the foundation of all good relationships is TRUST!

AgapeDoc :

I have worked with other folks in similar situations. This has what has worked in the past.....

AgapeDoc :

You must sit down and have a face to face conversation about the importance of being able to trust each other. Try to get agreement on letting go of the past and reinventing your relationship. It will be good to say, let's start a new chapter.

AgapeDoc :

You must forgive him for his past transgressions and he must commit to being honest.

AgapeDoc :

After that you must set up and agree on consequences if either of you "break the rules".

AgapeDoc :

I have done something similar with clients. For example, we have an agreement if one of us breaks an appointment without giving 48 hour notice. If he breaks the rules, he must buy me and my family dinner at Outback, if I break an appointment I have to by a pair of pro football tickets for him.

AgapeDoc :

This will either help you move forward or it will become quite evident that there is a problem that needs more serious attention.

Customer:

I have done that at least 6 times in the last year; every time I forgive him, and he commits to being honest. And every time, within a short period of time, I find out that he is still lying. At this point, I don't believe that there are any consequences that are going to matter to him. I went into this partnership foolishly, and I don't think that he values it anymore.

AgapeDoc :

Well, you haven't implemented the consequences yet. I won't guarantee it will work for you but it has worked in the past.

AgapeDoc :

However, based on what you just said... do you think you should dissolve the partnership?

AgapeDoc :

That is an option and it seems to me that is where you are at.

AgapeDoc :

Are you there?

Customer:

Yes, that is probably my only alternative, but I stupidly sank a whole bunch of money into this, and I am going to lose everything if I can't make it work. So, it looks like that is where I am at. My house is going to be going into foreclosure, and I am going to be out in the street. The lies have had to do with the money that he is supposedly getting to pay back my investment. I was hoping that someone could come up with an alternative, but in reality, I know where things stand.

AgapeDoc :

Wow! I wish I could pull a rabbit out of a hat, but the reality of it is just as you say.... I am truly so sorry. I guess I would suggest that the sooner you cut the ties the sooner you can start to rebuild what he has destroyed. It seems like if you try to hold on, you will continue to lose money and then in the end, wind up losing your home anyway.

Customer:

I think you are right. Thanks for trying.

AgapeDoc :

What a mess!

AgapeDoc :

I wish you all my best.

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