I have a friend who I speak to on the phone for the past 5 years when my relationship with my husband was very bad. She was a source of support. Now my relationship with my husband has improved and she is grieving terribly. She called me on the phone telling me things are not the same anymore and she is not needed anymore since my relationship improved with my husband. She feels she is no longer needed and is
crying that our friendship is not the same. Literally crying. I still think of her as a good friend but I don't give her the drama anymore, since things improved at home. Now she is considering ending our friendship and feels I was being selfish. She is lonely too.
She at times couldn't handle the drams either, so she doesn't get overwhelmed anymore.
Our conversations are much lighter. She is also quick to get a temper and can be judgmental, which is why I limit what I say to her. What am I missing? Did
my husband really take the place of her? She feels so. I told her let's speak every day even if for just a short time, and I still value the relationship. She thinks it's not the same, and is in tears and wants to end the friendship.. These hot and cold displays of emotion are scaring me. They remind me of how she can sometimes have a quick temper, and other times be very warm and supportive. A little unstable but I know she is ailing with a chronic sickness, and so am I. We both have constant pain, so our emotions are raw.
I feel that I can't meet her expectations. Although I told her how important she is to me, she hung up the phone she will think about it. She is considering ending the friendship. I am just confused. Although she doesn't miss being overwhelmed with my problems, she misses being needed in this capacity and appears to feel replaced by my husband. At times if I didn't call her as she expected, she would get explosive. So where do I go from here? What did I do wrong? How come she won't let me fix this? Does any of this ha e to do with her own possible abandonment issues? Will she just trash the relationship even after I told her I am willing to talk more often to her? Is she too unstable and we should end it? She is very upset about it and told me she needs time to think about the relationship. She feels a tremendous loss since I have a better relationship w my husband. But I made it clear we can become closer and talk more but she said it would never be the same. I also told her I am in a better position to give more to you now that I am no longer in a crisis. She's grieving and a mess, and I'm confused.... Thanks