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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5506
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I live with my mother who is 58 years old and I am 35 years

Customer Question

I live with my mother who is 58 years old and I am 35 years old. I live with her strictly for financial reasons.

I have had an issue with prescription drug addiction to opoids and benzodiazapines in my early to mid 20s, but am in "remission" now.

Because of the past addiction issue, my mother and sister have gotten together and decided to literally take into possession my medications even though there are no controlled substances and they have no durable power of attorney over me or any other legal authority over me for that matter.

I have lived alone in my own apartment from age 18 to 27 until I moved in with my mother to move closer to family.

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I am now 35 years of age. I would like my mother to read your answer. Could y
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds like your mother and sister are fearful of you relapsing and returning to your former addictions. Although their fear is understandable, they do not have a right to take over your prescriptions or contact the pharmacy about your former addiction.

 

It may be that your family is confusing you living with them as having control over your life, as they did when you were underage. You are correct, you are an adult now and you have your own choices to make. They do not have a right to take anything of yours. And part of recovery is learning to be responsible. This situation is threatening that responsibility.

 

The only way they could be allowed to take away your medications is if they had power of attorney, like you said.

 

Try again to talk to your mother and sister. Let them know you appreciate their concern, but that you are a consenting adult and you will take care of yourself and your sobriety. Then set some ground rules. For example, they are not to touch your personal items or come into your room without your permission.

 

If you are paying any type of rent or contributing in any way to the household, then you are to be treated like any other renter would. If you are not, then consider starting to contribute. It would help your mother separate seeing you from the dependency you had as a child and help her see you as the adult you are now.

 

You may want to reconsider your living arrangements. If you can, you might want to start saving now to move out. Also, keep your information private from others. Do not tell anyone where you get your medicine or what you take. Keep your medications in your room under lock and key (invest in a small safe if needed).

 

If you feel at any time that the stress of the situation is starting to affect you, seek extra help either from a counselor or other support.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Kate,

 

The problem is that my mother and sister have it set up where they have literally contacted every pharmacy in town and told them to not fill any of my prescriptions if I come and approach them to fill a prescrition from a physician and that I have to go to a pharmacy that THEY have designated. Then whenever I have a prescripton to fill, I can only drop off the prescriptoin, but my mother and/or sister is required to be with me to pick it up as that is how THEY set up the arrangements with the one pharmacy that I can go to. Also, since I have to go with my mother, she automatically takes posession of the medication and she puts it under "lock and key" in a fishing tackle box where I have absolutely no access to the medication(s). So that is the other issue that I have in regards XXXXX XXXXX medications.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

The pharmacy does not have the right to refuse to sell you the medication. If you are having trouble with getting the pharmacy to cooperate, contact your doctor so they can call the pharmacy and solve the issue. The doctor needs to tell the pharmacist that he/she has authorized you to use the medication and you do not need assistance from anyone else.

 

You may also want to contact legal aid for assistance with your mother and sister. They do not have the right to tell others about you and take control of your medication. That can be considered abuse and slander.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Kate,

 

Thank you for the advice.

 

When I was reading your responses, guess what.... My mother was reading over my shoulder and read everything that you told me!

 

Now, she is yelling at me and adamently denying everything that you have said and is now calling my sister and telling her about it. Not only that, but they both refuse to hand me over my medication or change anything with the pharmacy.

 

I would like to keep in contact with you if I could regarding this issue. If this is possible, could you please send me an email to my personal email account? My personal email account is XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX.

 

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

 

Thanks for your help!

 

Sincerely,

 

XXXXX XXXXX

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

I am sorry to hear about the situation with your mother.

 

I'm sorry but JA experts are not allowed to correspond in any way outside of the Just Answer question format. If we did, there would be no way to be reimbursed for our work since you would have no means in which to pay for our answers.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5506
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Kate,

 

As for my mother, I am used to it. She has been like this for years! I have just learned to let it go in one ear and out the other. Plus, my physicians know to not even listen to her or my sister about anything pertaining to my medications. As a matter of fact, they won't even talk to either of them eiber on the telephone or in person as they are so sick and tired of them and how they are so demanding and controlling over my medications and even telling THEM what to PRESCRBE me and in what DOSEAGES, since my sister is a Physical Education teacher and has some medical background. I on the other hand am a Medical Transcriptionist and have had Pharnacology, Pathophysiology, Anatomy and Phyology, Medical Terminology, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Calculus (amongst other courses for Medical Records and Management courses). So, you would think that I would know much more about Medical issues, medications, medications and their respective doseages, etc. than she would by just being a physical educaton teacher and maybe teaching a Health class once a year.

 

Well, please keep in touch. My contact information is below.

 

I really look forward to hearing from you soon!

 

Take care!

 

Sincerely,

 

XXXXX XXXXX

Bemidji, MN

XXXXX N.W.

Apt. 2

Bemidji, MNNNN-NN-NNNN/p>

XXX-XXX-XXXX (H)

XXX-XXX-XXXX (C)

XXX-XXX-XXXX (W)

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX

Yahoo AIM Instant Messenger ID/Username: Customer56601

 

**FYI, I use my gmail, twitter, and AIM Instant Messenter live chat the most. I also use facebook frequently as well.**

 

You don't need to reply back to this email. We can end our conversation here!

Again, thanks for your help and I will follow through with your advice!

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

It sounds like you are very educated and know exactly what is going on. And it's good that your doctors are not falling for the situation with your mother and sister. It's nice to know you have them on your side.

 

I appreciate you wanting to continue our contact and I am pleased I could help. But, I'm sorry about not being able to contact you outside of Just Answer. It is policy, so I do not have a choice.

 

If you choose, you can always post a new question on Just Answer. You can also request certain experts if you wish to.

 

Take care,
Kate

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